Question: You have often talked of relationship. What does it mean to you?
问：你经常谈到关系。它对你意味着什么？
Krishnamurti: First of all, there is no such thing as being isolated. To be is to be related and without relationship there is no existence. What do we mean by relationship? It is an interconnected challenge and response between two people, between you and me, the challenge which you throw out and which I accept or to which I respond; also the challenge I throw out to you.
克里希那穆提：首先，没有处于隔绝之中的事物。 存在就是关系，没有关系就不存在。 我们所说的关系是什么意思？ 它是两个人之间，你和我之间相互关联的挑战和回应， 你抛出这个挑战，我接受或回应这个挑战； 也就是我向你抛出了我的挑战。
The relationship of two people creates society; society is not independent of you and me; the mass is not by itself a separate entity but you and I in our relationship to each other create the mass, the group, the society.
两个人的关系创造了社会； 社会不是独立于你我； 群众本身没有与这个实体分开 但是你和我在彼此的关系中创造出群众、组织和这个社会。
Relationship is the awareness of interconnection between two people. What is that relationship generally based on? Is it not based on so-called interdependence, mutual assistance? At least, we say it is mutual help, mutual aid and so on, but actually, apart from words, apart from the emotional screen which we throw up against each other, what is it based upon?
关系是两个人之间相互联系的意识。 这种关系通常基于什么？ 难道它不是基于所谓的相互依存、互助吗？ 至少，我们说它是互助，互援等等， 但实际上，除了这些文字，除了我们互相抛出的情感屏幕， 它基于什么？
On mutual gratification, is it not? If I do not please you, you get rid of me; if I please you, you accept me either as your wife or as your neighbour or as your friend. That is the fact.
基于相互满意，它不是吗？ 如果我不讨好你，你就摆脱我； 如果我取悦于你，你要么接受我作为你的妻子，要么作为你的邻居，要么作为你的朋友。 那就是事实。
What is it that you call the family? Obviously it is a relationship of intimacy, of communion. In your family, in your relationship with your wife, with your husband, is there communion? Surely that is what we mean by relationship, do we not? Relationship means communion without fear, freedom to understand each other, to communicate directly. Obviously relationship means that - to be in communion with another. Are you?
你所说的家庭是什么东西？ 显然，它是一种亲密、共融的关系。 在你的家庭中，在你与妻子的关系中，与丈夫的关系中，有共融吗？ 当然，那就是我们所说的关系，不是吗？ 关系意味着无所畏惧的共融，自由地相互理解，直接沟通。 显然，关系意味那 —— 与别人共融。你是吗？
Are you in communion with your wife? Perhaps you are physically but that is not relationship. You and your wife live on opposite sides of a wall of isolation, do you not? You have your own pursuits, your ambitions, and she has hers. You live behind the wall and occasionally look over the top - and that you call relationship. That is a fact, is it not? You may enlarge it, soften it, introduce a new set of words to describe it. but that is the fact - that you and another live in isolation, and that life in isolation you call relationship.
你和你的妻子共融吗？ 也许你是在身体上，但那不是关系。 你和你的妻子生活在隔离墙的两边，不是吗？ 你有自己的追求，你的雄心，她有她的。 你住在墙后，偶尔会爬上去看一眼 —— 你称之为关系。 那是事实，不是吗？ 你可以扩大它，软化它，引入一组新的词语来描述它。 但那是事实 —— 你和别人生活在隔离之中，而那种隔离的生命，你称之为关系。
If there is real relationship between two people, which means there is communion between them, then the implications are enormous. Then there is no isolation; there is love and not responsibility or duty. It is the people who are isolated behind their walls who talk about duty and responsibility. A man who loves does not talk about responsibility - he loves. Therefore he shares with another his joy, his sorrow, his money.
如果两个人之间有真正的关系，就意味着他们之间有共融， 那么影响是巨大的。 那就没有隔离；有爱，而不是责任或义务。 那些被隔离在墙后的人在谈论义务和责任。 一个爱的人不谈论责任 —— 他爱。 因此，他与别人分享他的欢乐，他的悲伤，他的金钱。
Are your families such? Is there direct communion with your wife, with your children? Obviously not. Therefore the family is merely an excuse to continue your name or tradition, to give you what you want, sexually or psychologically, so the family becomes a means of self-perpetuation, of carrying on your name. That is one kind of immortality, one kind of permanency.
你的家人是这样的吗？ 与你的妻子、你的孩子有直接的共融吗？ 显然没有。 因此，家庭只是延续你的名字或传统的借口， 给你想要的，在性欲上或心理上， 因此，家庭成为自我延续的手段，成为继承你名字的手段。 那是一种不朽，一种永恒。
The family is also used as a means of gratification. I exploit others ruthlessly in the business world, in the political or social world outside, and at home I try to be kind and generous. How absurd! Or the world is too much for me, I want peace and I go home. I suffer in the world and I go home and try to find comfort. So I use relationship as a means of gratification, which means I do not want to be disturbed by my relationship.
家庭也被用作满意的手段。 我在商业世界，在外面的政治或社会世界中无情地剥削他人， 在家里，我尽量善良和慷慨。 多么荒谬！ 或者这个世界对我来说，太难以承受了，我想要和平，我要回家。 我在这个世界上受苦，我回家试图寻找安慰。 所以我用关系作为满意的手段， 这意味着我不想被我的关系打扰。
Thus relationship is sought where there is mutual satisfaction, gratification; when you do not find that satisfaction you change relationship; either you divorce or you remain together but seek gratification elsewhere or else you move from one relationship to another till you find what you seek - which is satisfaction, gratification, and a sense of self-protection and comfort. After all, that is our relationship in the world, and it is thus in fact.
因此，在相互满意、满足的地方寻求关系； 当你找不到那种满足感时，你会改变关系； 你们要么离婚，要么仍然在一起，但是在别处寻求满意， 要么你就会从一种关系转移到另一种关系，一直到找到你所寻求的。 —— 也就是满意，满足，以及自我保护和安逸。 毕竟，那就是我们在这个世界上的关系，事实也是如此。
Relationship is sought where there can be security, where you as an individual can live in a state of security, in a state of gratification, in a state of ignorance - all of which always creates conflict, does it not? If you do not satisfy me and I am seeking satisfaction, naturally there must be conflict, because we are both seeking security in each other; when that security becomes uncertain you become jealous, you become violent, you become possessive and so on. So relationship invariably results in possession in condemnation, in self-assertive demands for security, for comfort and for gratification, and in that there is naturally no love.
在有安全的地方寻求关系， 你作为一个个体可以生活在一种安全状态、一种满意状态、一种无知状态 —— 所有这些总是在制造冲突，不是吗？ 如果你不满足我，而我在寻求满足，自然地，必定有冲突， 因为我们都在彼此身上寻求安全； 当这种安全变得不确定时，你就变得嫉妒，你变得暴力，你变得具有占有欲等等。 因此，关系总是导致占有、谴责、自作主张的要求安全感， 为了舒服和满足，自然地，就没有爱。
We talk about love, we talk about responsibility, duty, but there is really no love; relationship is based on gratification, the effect of which we see in the present civilization. The way we treat our wives, children, neighbours, friends is an indication that in our relationship there is really no love at all. It is merely a mutual search for gratification. As this is so, what then is the purpose of relationship? What is its ultimate significance?
我们谈爱，我们谈责任、义务，却真的不爱； 关系是建立在满足的基础上的，我们在当前的文明中看到这种满足的效果。 我们对待我们的妻子、孩子、邻居、朋友的方式，就是一个迹象 在我们的关系中，真的根本没有爱。它只是对满足的相互寻求。 既然如此，那么关系的意图是什么？ 它终极的意义是什么？
If you observe yourself in relationship with others, do you not find that relationship is a process of self-revelation? Does not my contact with you reveal my own state of being if I am aware, if I am alert enough to be conscious of my own reaction in relationship? Relationship is really a process of self-revelation, which is a process of self-knowledge; in that revelation there are many unpleasant things, disquieting, uncomfortable thoughts, activities.
如果你观察自己与他人的关系， 难道你不觉得关系是一个自我揭露的过程吗？ 如果我有意识，如果我足够警觉，意识到自己在关系中的反应， 我与你之间的联系不是揭露了我自己的存在状态吗？ 关系其实就是一个自我揭露的过程，一个自我认识的过程； 在那个揭露中，有许多不愉快的东西，令人不安的，不舒服的思想和活动。
Since I do not like what I discover, I run away from a relationship which is not pleasant to a relationship which is pleasant. Therefore, relationship has very little significance when we are merely seeking mutual gratification but becomes extraordinarily significant when it is a means of self-revelation and self-knowledge.
因为我不喜欢我所发现的东西， 我逃避一段不愉快的关系，而转向一段愉快的关系。 因此，当我们只是寻求相互满足时，关系的意义很小。 但当它成为揭露自我和自我认识的一种手段时，它就变得异常重要。
After all, there is no relationship in love, is there? It is only when you love something and expect a return of your love that there is a relationship. When you love, that is when you give yourself over to something entirely, wholly, then there is no relationship.
毕竟，在恋爱中没有关系，有吗？ 只有当你爱某个东西并期待你的爱得到回报时，才有一种关系。 当你爱时，也就是当你把你自己完整的交给某个东西时，那么就没有关系。
If you do love, if there is such a love, then it is a marvellous thing. In such love there is no friction, there is not the one and the other, there is complete unity. It is a state of integration, a complete being. There are such moments, such rare, happy, joyous moments, when there is complete love, complete communion.
如果你真的爱，如果有这样的爱，那么它是一个神奇的东西。 在这样的爱中，没有摩擦，没有一个和另一个，有完整的一。 它是一种综合的状态，一种完整的存在。 当有完全的爱、完全的共融时，就有这样的时刻，这样罕见的、快乐的、喜悦的时刻。
What generally happens is that love is not what is important but the other, the object of love becomes important; the one to whom love is given becomes important and not love itself. Then the object of love, for various reasons, either biological, verbal or because of a desire for gratification, for comfort and so on, becomes important and love recedes. Then possession, jealousy and demands create conflict and love recedes further and further; the further it recedes, the more the problem of relationship loses its significance, its worth and its meaning.
通常发生的是，爱不重要，而是另一个，爱的对象变得重要； 被给予爱的人变得重要，而不是爱本身。 然后爱的对象，出于各种原因，无论是生理上的，还是口头上的 或者因为对满足、舒适等的欲望，变得重要，爱消退了。 然后是占有、嫉妒和各种要求，制造出冲突，爱却越来越远； 它越往后退， 关系的问题就越是失去了它的重要性、价值和意义。 Therefore, love is one of the most difficult things to comprehend. It cannot come through an intellectual urgency, it cannot be manufactured by various methods and means and disciplines. It is a state of being when the activities of the self have ceased; but they will not cease if you merely suppress them, shun them or discipline them.
因此，爱是最难理解的东西之一。 它不能通过智力上的紧迫性而出现， 它不能通过各种方法、手段和纪律来制造。 它是一种存在状态，当自我的活动停止时； 但是，如果你只是压制它们、回避或管教它们，它们就不会停止。
You must understand the activities of the self in all the different layers of consciousness. We have moments when we do love, when there is no thought, no motive, but those moments are very rare. Because they are rare we cling to them in memory and thus create a barrier between living reality and the action of our daily existence.
你必须理解这位自我在意识的一切层面上的活动。 我们有爱的时刻，就没有思想，没有动机，但那些时刻非常罕见。 因为它们很少见，所以我们在记忆中紧紧抓住它们 从而在活生生的现实和我们日常生活的行为之间制造出一道屏障。
In order to understand relationship it is important to understand first of all what is, what is actually taking place in our lives, in all the different subtle forms; and also what relationship actually means. Relationship is self-revelation. it is because we do not want to be revealed to ourselves that we hide in comfort, and then relationship loses its extraordinary depth, significance and beauty.
为了理解关系，首先要理解什么是， 我们生活中实际发生的事情，以各种不同的微妙形式； 还包括关系的实际含义。 关系是自我揭露。 正是因为我们不想被暴露，我们才躲在安慰中， 然后关系就失去了它非凡的深度、意义和美丽。
There can be true relationship only when there is love but love is not the search for gratification. Love exists only when there is self-forgetfulness, when there is complete communion, not between one or two, but communion with the highest; and that can only take place when the self is forgotten.
只有当有爱时，才会有真正的关系，但爱不是寻求满足。 只有当自我忘却的时候，爱才会存在， 当有完全的共融时，不是在一两个人之间，而是与最高的共融； 那样，在自我被忘却时，才能发生。