对生活的评注 2-27

IT WAS A calm evening, but many white sails were on the lake. In the far distance a snow-covered peak hung as though suspended from the skies. The evening breeze from the north-east was not yet blowing, but there were ripples on the water towards the north and more boats were putting out. The water was very blue and the skies were very clear. It was a wide lake, but on sunny days the towns could be seen on the other side. In this little bay, secluded and forgotten, it was very peaceful; there were no tourists, and the steamboat that went round the lake never came here. Nearby was a village of fishermen; and as the weather promised to be clear, there would be small boats, with lanterns, fishing late into the night. In the enchantment of evening they were preparing their nets and their boats. The valleys were in deep shadow, but the mountains still held the sun.

那是一个平静的夜晚，湖面上点缀着许多白帆。远处，一座白雪皑皑的山峰，仿佛悬挂在天空中。来自东北方向的傍晚的微风还没有吹来，但水面上有向北的波纹，更多的船只正在伸展。水很蓝，天空很晴朗。这是一个宽阔的湖泊，但在阳光明媚的日子里，可以在另一边看到城镇。这个小海湾里，僻静而被遗忘，非常宁静。没有游客，环湖的汽船也从未来过这里。附近是一个渔村。由于天气晴朗，会有小船，灯笼，钓鱼到深夜。在迷人的傍晚，他们正在准备他们的网和他们的船。山谷在深幽的阴影中，但高山仍然沐浴着阳光。

We had been walking for some time and we sat down by the path, for he had come to talk things over. “As far back as I can remember, I have had endless conflict, mostly within myself, though sometimes it manifests outwardly. I am not greatly worried by any outward conflict, as I have learnt to adjust myself to circumstances. This adjustment has been painful, however, for I am not easily persuaded or dominated. Life has been difficult, but I am efficient enough to make a good living. But all this is not my problem. What I cannot understand is this inward conflict which I am unable to control. I often wake up in the middle of the night from violent dreams, and I never seem to have a moment’s respite from my conflict; it goes on beneath the everyday occupations, and frequently explodes in my more intimate relationships.”

我们已经走了一段时间，我们坐在路边，因为他是来谈事情的。 “早在我记忆中，我就有过无休止的冲突，主要是在我自己内部，尽管有时它会表现出来。我对任何外在的冲突都不是很担心，因为我已经学会了适应环境。然而，这种适应是痛苦的，因为我不容易被说服或支配。生活一直很艰难，但我有足够的效率来过上好日子。但这一切都不是我的问题。我无法理解的是这种我无法控制的内在的冲突。我经常在半夜从暴力的梦中醒来，我似乎从来没有从我的冲突中得到片刻的喘息；它持续地存在于日常生活之下，并在我更亲密的关系中，经常性地爆发。”

What do you mean by conflict? What is the nature of it? “Outwardly I am a fairly busy man, and my work demands concentration and attention. When my mind is thus occupied, my inward conflicts are forgotten; but as soon as there is a lull in my work, I am back in my conflicts. These conflicts are of varying nature and at different levels. I want to be successful in my work, to be at the top of my profession, with plenty of money and all the rest of it, and I know I can be. At another level, I am aware of the stupidity of my ambition. I love the good things of life, and opposed to that, I want to lead a simple, almost an ascetic existence. I hate a number of people, and yet I want to forget and forgive. I can go on giving you instances, but I am sure you can understand the nature of my conflicts. Instinctively I am a peaceful person, yet anger is easy for me. I am very healthy – which may be a misfortune, at least in my case. Outwardly I give the appearance of being calm and steady, but I am agitated and confused by my inward conflicts. I am well over thirty, and I really want to break through the confusion of my own desires. You see, another of my difficulties is that I find it almost impossible to talk these things over with anybody. This is the first time in many years that I have opened up a little. I am not secretive, but I hate to talk about myself and I could not possibly do so with any psychologist. Knowing all this, can you tell me whether it is possible for me to have some kind of inward serenity?”

你说的冲突是什么意思？它的本质是什么？ “从表面上看，我是一个相当忙碌的人，我的工作需要专注和关注。当我的思想因此被占据时，我内心的冲突就被遗忘了。但是，一旦我的工作陷入停顿，我就又回到了我的冲突中。这些冲突具有不同的性质和层次。我想在我的工作中取得成功，在我的职业中处于顶峰，拥有大量的金钱和所有其它的东西，我知道我可以做到。在另一个层面上，我意识到我野心的愚蠢。我热爱生活中的美好事物，与此相反，我想过一种简单的，几乎是苦行僧的生活。我讨厌很多人，但我想忘记和原谅。我可以继续给你一些例子，但我相信你可以理解我冲突的本质。本能地，我是一个和平的人，但愤怒对我来说很容易。我非常健康 —— 这可能是一种不幸，至少在我的情景下。在外表上，我给人一种平静而稳定的样子，但我内心的冲突让我感到不安和困惑。我已经三十多岁了，我真的很想突破自己欲望的困惑。你看，我的另一个困难是，我发现几乎不可能和任何人谈论这些事情。这是我多年来第一次开放一点。我不是想保密，但我讨厌谈论自己，我不可能和任何心理学家一起这样做。知道了这一切，你能告诉我，我是否有可能拥有某种内在的宁静？”

Instead of trying to do away with conflict, let us see if we can understand this agglomeration of desire. Our problem is to see the nature of desire, and not merely to overcome conflict; for it is desire that causes conflict. Desire is stimulated by association and remembrance; memory is part of desire. The recollection of the pleasant and the unpleasant nourishes desire and breaks it up into opposing and conflicting desires. The mind identifies itself with the pleasant as opposed to the unpleasant; through the choice of pain and pleasure the mind separates desire, dividing it into different categories of pursuits and values. “Though there are many conflicting and opposing desires, all desires are one. Is that it?”

与其试图消除冲突，不如让我们看看，我们是否能理解这种欲望的聚集物。我们的问题是看到欲望的性质，而不仅仅是克服冲突；因为正是欲望造成了冲突。欲望是由联想和记忆而形成的应激性反应；回味是欲望的一部分。对愉快和不愉快的回忆滋养着欲望，并将其分化为对立的和相互冲突的欲望。头脑将自己与愉快的事物相认同，而拒绝不愉快的；通过对痛苦和快乐的分拣，头脑分离出欲望，把它划分为不同的追求和价值。 “虽然有许多相互冲突和对立的欲望，但所有的欲望都是一样的。是这样吗？”

That is so, is it not? And it is really important to understand this, otherwise the conflict between opposing desires is endless. The dualism of desire, which the mind has brought about, is an illusion. There is no dualism in desire, but merely different types of desire. There is dualism only between time and eternity. Our concern is to see the unreality of the dualism of desire. Desire does divide itself into want and non-want, but the avoidance of the one and the pursuit of the other is still desire. There is no escape from conflict through any of the opposites of desire, for desire itself breeds its own opposition.

就是这样，不是吗？理解这一点真的很重要，否则，相互对立的欲望之间的冲突是永无止境的。头脑带来的欲望的二元论，是一种幻觉。欲望中没有二元论，而只有不同类型的欲望。只有在时间与永恒之间，才存在二元论。我们关心的是看到欲望二元论的非真实性。欲望确实将自身分为‘想要的’和‘不想要的’，但避免一个和追求另一个，仍然是欲望。通过欲望的任何对立面，都无法避免冲突，因为正是欲望本身，滋生出它自己的对立面。

“I see rather vaguely that what you say is a fact, but it is also a fact that I am still torn between many desires.”

“我隐约看见，你说的是事实，我仍然在很多欲望之间徘徊，但这也是事实。”

It is a fact that all desire is one and the same, and we cannot alter that fact, twist it to suit our convenience and pleasure, or use it as an instrument to free ourselves from the conflicts of desire; but if we see it to be true then it has the power to set the mind free from breeding illusion. So we must be aware of desire breaking itself up into separate and conflicting parts. We are these opposing and conflicting desires we are the whole bundle of them, each pulling in a different direction.

所有的欲望都是一样的，这是事实。我们不能改变这个事实，扭曲它以适应我们的便利和快乐，也不能把它当作一种工具，把我们自己从欲望的冲突中解放出来；但是，如果我们看到它的真实性，那么它就有能力使头脑从滋生出的幻觉中解脱。因此，我们必须意识到欲望在分裂自己，分化出相互冲突的各种碎片。我们是这些相互对立和冲突的欲望，我们是整个碎片群的一小撮，每一片都朝着不同的方向拉扯。

“Yes, but what can we do about it?”

“是的，但我们能做些什么？”

Without first catching a glimpse of desire as a single unit, whatever we may or may not do will be of very little significance, for desire only multiplies desire and the mind is trapped in this conflict. There is freedom from conflict only when desire, which makes up the ‘I’ with its remembrances and recognitions, comes to an end. “When you say that conflict ceases only with the cessation of desire, does this imply an end to one’s active life?”

如果不首先瞥见欲望作为一个整体，无论我们可能做什么或不做什么，都没有什么意义，因为欲望只会成倍地繁殖，而头脑就被困在这场冲突中。要有免于冲突的自由，只有欲望 —— 这个‘自我’的制造者，以及我的记忆和认同，走到尽头之时。 “你说冲突只有在欲望停止后才会停止，这是否意味着一个人积极的生活的结束？”

It may or it may not. It is foolish on our part to speculate about what kind of life it will be without desire. “You surely do not mean that organic wants must cease.”

它可能是，也可能不是。我们揣测没有欲望会是什么样的生活，这种揣测是愚蠢的。 “你当然不是指有机体的需求必须停止。”

Organic wants are moulded and expanded by psychological desires; we are talking of these desires. “Can we go more deeply into the functioning of these inner cravings?”

有机体的欲望是由心理欲望塑造和扩展的；我们谈论的是这些欲望。 “我们能更深入地研究这些内在渴望的功能吗？”

Desires are both open and hidden, conscious and concealed. The concealed are of far greater significance than the obvious; but we cannot become familiar with the deeper if the superficial are not understood and tamed. It is not that the conscious desires must be suppressed, sublimated, or moulded to any pattern, but they must be observed and quieted. With the calming of superficial agitation, there is a possibility that the deeper desires, motives and intentions will come to the surface.

欲望既是开放的又是隐藏的，既是有意识的，也是隐藏的。隐藏的远比表面的更重要。但是，如果肤浅的东西没有被理解和驯服，我们就无法熟悉更深层次的东西。这并不是说意识中的欲望必须被压制、升华或塑造成任何模式，而是它们必须被观察和安抚。随着肤浅的躁动的平静，更深层次的欲望、动机和意图，才有可能浮出水面。

“How is one to quiet the surface agitation? I see the importance of what you are saying, but I do not quite see how to approach the problem, how to experiment with it.”

“如何平息表面的躁动？我看到你所说的重要性，但我不太明白如何解决这个问题，如何实验它。”

The experimenter is not separate from that with which he is experimenting. The truth of this must be seen. You who are experimenting with your desires are not an entity apart from those desires, are you? The ‘I’ who says, ‘I will suppress this desire and go after that’, is himself the outcome of all desire, is he not? “One can feel that it is so, but actually to realize it, is quite another matter.”

实验者与他正在做的实验没有分开。必须看到这一点的真实性。正在拿你的欲望做实验的你，你这个实体，并没有与这些欲望分离，是吧？这个‘我’说，“我会压抑这个欲望，去追踪那个欲望”，他自己是所有的欲望的结果吗，他不是吗？ “人可以感觉到是这样，但实际上要意识到这一点，是另一回事。”

If as each desire arises there is an awareness of this truth, then there is freedom from the illusion of the experimenter as a separate entity unrelated to desire. As long as the ‘I’ exerts itself to be free from desire, it is only strengthening desire in another direction and so perpetuating conflict. If there is an awareness of this fact from moment to moment, the will of the censor ceases; and when the experiencer is the experience, then you will find that desire with its many varying conflicts comes to an end.

如果随着每一种欲望的产生，人都意识到了这种真实性，那么就可以摆脱这种幻象 —— 实验者是一个与欲望无关的独立实体。只要‘我’在努力地摆脱欲望，那么，它只会在另一个方向上加强欲望，从而使冲突永久化。如果每时每刻都意识到这一事实，这个审查员的意志就会消逝；那样，体验者即是体验本身，那么，你会发现这种欲望及其许多不同的冲突就结束了。