THE HURRICANE HAD destroyed the crops, and the seawater was over the land. The train was crawling along, and on both sides of the line the trees were down, the houses roofless, and the fields utterly deserted. The storm had done a great deal of damage for miles around; living things were destroyed, and the barren earth was open to the sky.
飓风摧毁了庄稼，海水在淹没了土地。 火车在匍匐前进，在前行的两旁， 树木倒塌，房屋没了屋顶，田野完全荒无人烟。 风暴在周围数英里内造成了巨大的破坏。 生物被摧毁，贫瘠的大地向天空敞开。
We are never alone; we are surrounded by people and by our own thoughts. Even when the people are distant, we see things through the screen of our thoughts. There is no moment, or it is very rare, when thought is not. We do not know what it is to be alone, to be free of all association, of all continuity, of all word and image. We are lonely, but we do not know what it is to be alone. The ache of loneliness fills our hearts, and the mind covers it with fear. Loneliness, that deep isolation, is the dark shadow of our life. We do everything we can to run away from it, we plunge down every avenue of escape we know, but it pursues us and we are never without it. Isolation is the way of our life; we rarely fuse with another, for in ourselves we are broken, torn and unhealed. In ourselves we are not whole complete, and the fusion with another is possible only when there is integration within. We are afraid of solitude, for it opens the door to our insufficiency, the poverty of our own being; but it is solitude that heals the deepening wound of loneliness. To walk alone, unimpeded by thought, by the trail of our desires, is to go beyond the reaches of the mind. It is the mind that isolates, separates and cuts off communion. The mind cannot be made whole; it cannot make itself complete, for that very effort is a process of isolation, it is part of the loneliness that nothing can cover. The mind is the product of the many, and what is put together can never be alone. Aloneness is not the result of thought. Only when thought is utterly still is there the flight of the alone to the alone.
我们从不独立；我们被人和我们自己的思想所包围。 即使人疏远， 我们也通过思想的屏幕看待事物。 没有一刻，或者说是非常罕见，当思想不在。 我们不知道什么是独立， 解散一切联结、一切连续、一切文字和形象。 我们很孤独，但我们不知道独立是什么。 寂寞的痛苦充满了我们的心，头脑用恐惧覆盖着它。 孤独，那种深深的孤立，是我们生命的暗影。 我们尽我们所能，去逃离它， 我们跌入我们所知道的每一条逃生之路， 但它追踪我们，我们永远无法摆脱它。 孤立，是我们的生活方式； 我们很少与另一个人融合，因为我们自己是破碎的、撕裂的和未愈合的。 在我们自己身上，我们并不是完整的， 只有当内在完整时，与另一个人的融合才有可能。 我们害怕独处， 因为它打开了通往我们匮乏的大门，我们自身的贫瘠； 但正是独处，治愈了孤独的、深刻的伤口。 独自行走，不受思想的阻碍，不受我们欲望的束缚， 就是超越头脑的边界。 是头脑，在孤立、分裂和切断共融。 头脑不能成为完整； 它不能使自己完整，因为这种努力本身就是一个孤立过程， 它是孤独的一部分，没有什么可以掩盖。 头脑是众多的产物，而放在一起的东西永远不可能是独立的。 独立不是思想的产物。 只有当思想完全静止时，才有从独立到独立的飞翔。
The house was well back from the road, and the garden had an abundance of flowers. It was a cool morning, and the sky was very blue; the morning sun was pleasant, and in the shaded, sunken garden the noise of the traffic, the call of the vendors, and the trotting of horses on the road, all seemed very distant. A goat had wandered into the garden; with its short tail wiggling, it nibbled at the flowers till the gardener came and chased it away.
房子离马路很远，花园里有很多花。 那是一个凉爽的早晨，天空非常蓝。 清晨的阳光令人愉悦，在阴凉的、低矮的花园里， 交通的噪音，小贩的叫声， 以及路上马匹的小跑，似乎都很遥远。 一只山羊游荡进入花园； 短短的尾巴摆动着， 啃着花，直到园丁走过来，把它赶走。
She was saying that she felt very disturbed, but did not want to be disturbed; she wanted to avoid the painful state of uncertainty. Why was she so apprehensive of being disturbed?
她说她感到非常不安，但不想被打扰； 她想避免那种痛苦的不确定状态。 为什么她如此担心被打扰？
What do you mean by being disturbed? And why be apprehensive about it? “I want to be quiet, to be left alone. I feel disturbed even with you. Though I have seen you only two or three times, the fear of being disturbed by you is coming heavily upon me. I want to find out why I have this fear of being inwardly uncertain. I want to be quiet and at peace with myself, but I am always being disturbed by something or other. Till recently I had managed to be more or less at peace with myself; but a friend brought me along to one of your talks, and now I am strangely upset. I thought you would strengthen me in my peace, but instead you have almost shattered it. I didn’t want to come here, as I knew I would make a fool of myself; but still, here I am.”
你所说的被打扰是什么意思？为什么要对此感到担忧呢？ “我想保持安静，想独处。即使和你在一起，我也感到不安。 虽然我只见过你两三次， 但被你打扰的恐惧，正在沉重地降临在我身上。 我想知道为什么我害怕内心的不确定性。 我想安静，与自己和平相处， 但我总是被某件事或其他东西打扰。 直到最近，我还是设法或多或少地与自己和平相处。 但是一个朋友带我去参加你们的一次演讲， 现在我奇怪地不安。 我以为你会增强我的平和， 但相反，你几乎粉碎了它。 我不想来这里，因为我知道我会把自己弄成傻瓜。 但是，我仍然来了。”
Why are you so insistent that you should be at peace? Why are you making it into a problem? The very demand to be at peace is conflict, is it not? If I may ask, what is it you want? If you want to be left alone, undisturbed and at peace, then why allow yourself to be shaken? It is quite feasible to shut all the doors and windows of one’s being, to isolate oneself and live in seclusion. That is what most people want. Some deliberately cultivate isolation, and others, by their desires and activities, both hidden and open, bring about this exclusion. The sincere ones become self-righteous with their ideals and virtues, which are only a defence; and those who are thoughtless drift into isolation through economic pressure and social influences. Most of us are seeking to build walls around ourselves so as to be invulnerable, but unfortunately there is always an opening through which life creeps in.
你为什么如此坚持要处于和平之中？ 你为什么把它变成一个问题？ 对和平的要求，就是冲突，不是吗？ 如果我可以问，你想要什么？ 如果你想独自一人，不受干扰，处于和平之中， 那么为什么要让自己被撼动呢？ 关闭一个人的所有门窗，隔离自己，与世隔绝， 这是非常可行的。 这是大多数人想要的。 有些人故意培养孤立， 而另一些人则通过他们的欲望和活动， 无论是隐秘的还是敞开的，两者都带来了这种排斥。 真诚的人以他们的理想和美德自以为是， 这些理想和美德只是一种防御手段； 而那些缺少思索的人则因经济压力和社会影响而陷入绝境。 我们大多数人都在寻求，在自己周围筑起高墙，以便无懈可击， 但不幸的是，总有一个开口，生命通过这个开口，悄悄地进入。
“I have generally managed to ward off most of the disturbances, but during the past week or two, because of you, I have been more disturbed than ever. Please tell me why I am disturbed. What is the cause of it?”
“我通常设法抵御了大部分的干扰， 但在过去的一两个星期里，因为你， 我比以往任何时候都更加不安。 请告诉我为什么我会感到不安。它的原因是什么？”
Why do you want to know the cause of it? Obviously, by knowing the cause you hope to eradicate the effect. You really do not want to know why you are disturbed, do you? You only want to avoid disturbance. “I just want to be left alone, undisturbed and at peace; and why am I constantly disturbed?”
你为什么想知道它的原因？ 显然，通过了解原因，你希望根除这种影响。 你真的不想知道你为什么会感到不安，对吗？ 你只想避免干扰。 “我只想独自一人，不受干扰，和平； 为什么我总是感到不安？”
You have been defending yourself all your life have you not? What you are really interested in is to find out how to stop up all the openings, and not how to live without fear, without dependence. From what you have said and left unsaid, it is obvious that you have tried to make your life secure against any kind of inward disturbance; you have withdrawn from any relationship that might cause pain. You have managed fairly well to safeguard yourself against all shock, to live behind closed doors and windows. Some are successful in doing this, and if pushed far enough its ultimate end is the asylum; others fail and become cynical, bitter; and still others make themselves rich in things or in knowledge, which is their safeguard. Most people, including the so-called religious, desire abiding peace, a state in which all conflict has come to an end. Then there are those who praise conflict as the only real expression of life, and conflict is their shield against life.
你一生都在保护自己，不是吗？ 你真正感兴趣的是：找出如何阻止所有的开口， 而不是如何无所畏惧，无所依赖地生活。 从你说过的话和没有说出的话来看，很明显， 你试图让你的生活免受任何一种内在的干扰。 你已经退出了任何可能导致痛苦的关系。 你已经很好地保护自己免受所有冲击， 居住在紧闭的门窗后面。 有些人成功地做到了这一点， 如果推得足够远，它的最终目的就是收容所； 其他人失败了，变得愤世嫉俗，尖酸刻薄； 还有一些人使自己在事物或知识上变得富有，这是他们的安保。 大多数人，包括所谓的宗教人士，都渴望持久的和平， 一个所有冲突都已结束的状态。 还有一些人称赞冲突是生命唯一真实的表达， 而冲突是他们抵御生命的盾牌。
Can you ever have peace by seeking security behind the walls of your fears and hopes? All your life you have withdrawn, because you want to be safe within the walls of a limited relationship which you can dominate. Is this not your problem? Since you depend, you want to possess that upon which you depend.
你能通过在你的恐惧和希望的围墙后面，而找到安全，以获得和平吗？ 你所有的生命都在萎缩， 因为，你想在一个你可以支配的有限关系的围墙内保持安全。 这不是你的问题吗？ 既然你依赖，你就想占有你所依赖的东西。
You are afraid of and therefore avoid any relationship which you cannot dominate. Isn’t that it? “That is rather a brutal way of putting it, but perhaps that is it.”
你害怕，并因此避免任何你无法支配的关系。 不是吗？ “这是一种相当残酷的说法，但也许就是这样。”
If you could dominate the cause of your present disturbance, you would be at peace; but since you cannot, you are very concerned. We all want to dominate when we do not understand; we want to possess or be possessed when there is fear of ourselves. Uncertainty of ourselves makes for a feeling of superiority, exclusion and isolation.
如果你能主宰你目前骚乱的原因，你就会平安无事。 但是既然你不能，你就很担心。 当我们不理解时，我们都想去支配； 我们想要占有或被占有，当我们自己产生恐惧时。 因为我们自己的不确定，就顺手制造出一种优越感、排斥感和孤立感。
If I may ask, of what are you afraid? Are you afraid of being alone, of being left out, of being made uncertain? “You see, all my life I have lived for others, or so I thought. I have upheld an ideal and been praised for my efficiency in doing the kind of work which is considered good; I have lived a life of self-denial, without security without children, without a home. My sisters are well-married and socially prominent, and my older brothers are high government officials. When I visit them, I feel I have wasted my life. I have become bitter, and I deeply regret all the things that I haven’t had. I now dislike the work I was doing, it no longer brings me any happiness, and I have abandoned it to others. I have turned my back upon it all. As you point out, I have become hard in my self-defence. I have anchored myself in a younger brother who is not well off and who considers himself a seeker of God. I have tried to make myself inwardly secure, but it has been a long and painful struggle. It is this younger brother who brought me to one of your talks, and the house which I had been so carefully building began to tumble down. I wish to God I had never come to hear you, but I cannot rebuild it, I cannot go through all that suffering and anxiety again. You have no idea what it has been like for me to see my brothers and sisters with position, prestige, and money. But I won’t go into all that. I have cut myself off from them, and I rarely see them. As you say, I have gradually shut the door upon all relationships except one or two; but as misfortune would have it, you came to this town, and now everything is wide open again, all the old wounds have come to life, and I am deeply miserable. What am I to do?”
如果我可以问，你害怕什么？ 你害怕孤独，害怕被排除在外，害怕被不确定吗？ “你看，我一生都是为别人而活，至少我是这么想的。 我坚持一个理想， 并因其在做那种被认为是好的工作方面的效率而受到赞扬； 我过着自我否定的生活， 没有安全感，没有孩子，没有家。 我的姐妹们结了婚，社会地位很高， 我的兄长们是政府高级官员。 当我拜访他们时，我觉得我浪费了我的生命。 我变得苦涩，我对所有我没有拥有的东西深感后悔。 我现在不喜欢我正在做的工作，它不再给我带来任何快乐， 我已经把它抛弃给了别人。我已经放弃了这一切。 正如你所指出的，我已经变得难以自卫。 我把自己锚定在一个不太富裕的弟弟身上， 他认为自己是上帝的追寻者。 我试图让自己内心安全， 但这是一场漫长而痛苦的挣扎。 正是这个弟弟带我去参加你们的一次讲话， 而我精心建造的房子开始倒塌。 我希望上帝，我从来没有来听过你，但我无法重建它， 我无法再次经历所有的痛苦和焦虑。 你不知道我当时的感受 当我看到我的兄弟姐妹有地位、声望和金钱的时候。 但我不会详述所有这些。 我已经切断了自己与他们的联系，我很少去看他们。 正如你所说，我已经逐渐关闭了所有关系的大门，除了一两扇； 但正如不幸的降临，你来到这个小镇， 现在一切都重新打开了， 所有的旧伤口都活了过来，我非常地痛苦。 我该怎么办？”
The more we defend, the more we are attacked; the more we seek security, the less of it there is; the more we want peace, the greater is our conflict; the more we ask, the less we have. You have tried to make yourself invulnerable, shockproof; you have made yourself inwardly unapproachable except to one or two, and have closed all the doors to life. It is slow suicide. Now, why have you done all this? Have you ever asked yourself that question? Don’t you want to know? You have come either to find away to close all the doors, or to discover how to be open, vulnerable to life. Which is it you want – not as a choice, but as a natural, spontaneous thing?
我们越是防御，我们受到的攻击就越多; 我们越是寻求安全，就越少。 我们越是想要和平，我们的冲突就越大； 我们要求的越多，我们拥有的就越少。 你试图让自己无懈可击，无可撼动； 你使自己内在变得难以接近，除了一两个人， 并关闭了所有的生命之门。这是缓慢的自杀。 现在，你为什么要做这一切？你有没有问过自己这个问题？ 你不想知道吗？ 你要么来寻找离弃，关闭所有的门， 要么发现如何敞开、脆弱地面对生活。 你想要哪一个 —— 不是作为一种选择，而是作为一个自然的、自发的考虑？
“Of course I see now that it is really impossible to shut all the doors, for there is always an opening. I realize what I have been doing; I see that my own fear of uncertainty has made for dependence and domination. Obviously I could not dominate every situation, however much I might like to, and that is why I limited my contacts to one or two which I could dominate and hold. I see all that. But how am I to be open again, free and without this fear of inward uncertainty?”
“当然，我现在看到，要关闭所有的门，真的是不可能的， 因为总有一个开口。我意识到我一直在做什么； 我看到我自己对不确定性的恐惧导致了依赖和支配欲。 显然，我不能主宰每一种情况， 无论我多么喜欢， 这就是为什么我把我的联系限制在一两个我可以支配和维持的范围内。 我看到了这一切。但是，我该如何再次敞开心扉， 自由地、不惧怕内在的不确定性呢？”
Do you see the necessity of being open and vulnerable? If you do not see the truth of that then you will again surreptitiously build walls around yourself. To see the truth in the false is the beginning of wisdom; to see the false as the false is the highest comprehension. To see that what you have been doing all these years can only lead to further strife and sorrow – actually to experience the truth of it, which is not mere verbal acceptance – will put an end to that activity. You cannot voluntarily make yourself open; the action of will cannot make you vulnerable. The very desire to be vulnerable creates resistance. Only by understanding the false as the false is there freedom from it. Be passively watchful of your habitual responses; simply be aware of them without resistance; passively watch them as you would watch a child, without the pleasure or distaste of identification. passive watchfulness itself is freedom from defence, from closing the door. To be vulnerable is to live, and to withdraw is to die.
你看到开放和脆弱性的必要性吗？ 如果你没有看到真实性， 那么你就会再次偷偷地在自己周围筑墙。 在谬误中看到真理，是智慧的开始。 把假看成是假，是最高的理解。 看到你这些年来一直在做的事情，只会导致进一步的冲突和悲伤 —— 真实地体验它的真实性，而不仅仅是口头上的接受 —— 将结束这种活动。 你不能自愿地让自己敞开心扉； 意愿的行动，不能使你变得脆弱。 脆弱性的欲望，本身就会产生阻力。 只有把假理解为假，才有摆脱它的自由。 被动地注意你的习惯性反应； 只单纯地意识到它们而不去抵抗； 被动地看着他们，就像你看着一个孩子， 没有认同的乐趣或厌恶感。 被动的警觉，就解脱了防御，卸掉了关闭的大门。 保持脆弱性，即是生命，而退缩就是死亡。