对生活的评注 3-53

WE WERE FLYING very high, over fifteen thousand feet. The plane was crowded, without an empty seat. people from all over the world were in it. Far below, the sea was the colour of new spring grass, delicate and enchanting. The island from which we had taken off was dark green; the black roads and the red paths, winding through the palm groves and the thick, green vegetation, were clear and sharp, and the red-roofed houses were pleasant to look upon. The sea gradually became grey-green, and then blue. Now we were above the clouds, and they hid the earth, stretching mile upon mile as far as the eye could see. Overhead the sky was pale blue vast and all-enclosing. A slight wind was behind us, and we were flying fast, better than three hundred and fifty miles an hour. Suddenly the clouds parted, and there, far below, was the barren, red earth, with but little vegetation. Its red was like the glow of a forest on fire. There was no forest, but the earth itself was aflame, not with fire, but with colour; it was intense and startling. Soon we were flying over fertile land, with villages and hamlets scattered among the green fields. The earth was now divided after man’s heart, and each cultivated section was held, possessed. It was like an endless multicoloured carpet, but each colour belonged to somebody. A river wound its way through it all, and along its banks there were trees, casting the long shadows of the morning. Far away were the mountains, stretching right across the land. It was beautiful country; there was space and age.

我们飞得很高，一万五千英尺以上。飞机很拥挤，没有空的座位。有来自世界各地的人们。远处的大海，是初春的草绿，精美而迷人。我们起飞的岛屿是深绿色。黑色的道路和红色的小径蜿蜒于棕榈树林和茂密的绿色植被，清晰而锐厉、带有红色屋顶的房屋令人赏心悦目。大海逐渐变成灰绿色，然后是蓝色。现在我们在云层之上，它们把大地藏了起来，一英里又一英里地延伸到视线所及的地方。头顶上的天空是淡蓝色的广阔，无所不容。轻微的气流在我们下面，我们飞得很快，比每小时三百五十英里还要快。突然，云层散开，远处是贫瘠的红色泥土，植被很少。它的红色就像森林燃烧的火光。没有森林，但大地本身在燃烧，不是火，而是色彩。它很激烈，令人吃惊。很快，我们飞越了肥沃的土地，乡村和散布在绿色的田野中的小院落。现在，大地被人的心灵分割，每一块耕种的土地都被掌握、占据。它就像一张无穷无尽的五颜六色的地毯，但每种色彩都属于某个人。一条河流蜿蜒穿过这一切，沿途的河岸有树木，投下了早晨的长影。远处是山脉，横跨大地。这是一个美丽的国家；有空间和年龄。

Beyond the noise of the propellers and the chattering of the people, and beyond its own chattering, the mind was in movement. It was a completely silent journey, not in time and space, but into itself. This inward movement was not the outward journeying of the mind within the narrow or extensive field of its own making, of its own clamorous past. It was not a journey undertaken by the mind; it was an altogether different movement. The totality of the mind, not just a part of it, the hidden as well as the open, was completely still. The recording of this fact, here, is not the fact; the fact is wholly different from the words which record it. That stillness was not in the measure of time. Becoming and being have no relationship with each other; they move in entirely different directions; the one does not lead to the other. In the stillness of being, the past as the watcher, as the experiencer, is not. There is no activity of time. It’s not a remembrance that is communicating, but the actual movement itself – the movement of silence into the measureless. It’s a movement that does not start from a centre, that does not go from one point to another; it has no centre, no observer. It’s a journey of the total being, and the total being has no contradiction of desire. In this journey of the whole, there is no point of departure and no point of arrival. The whole mind is still, and this stillness is a movement which is not the journeying of the mind.

除了螺旋桨的噪音和人们的闲聊声，除了它自己的闲谈之外，头脑还在运动。这是一段完全安静的旅程，不是在时间和空间内，而是在头脑自身。这种内在的运动不是头脑在它自己创造的、从属于自身吵闹的、过去的、狭窄或广阔的领域内的旅程。它不是一个头脑承接的旅程；它是一个完全不同的运动。这个头脑的整体，不只是它的一部分，隐匿的和显露的部分都完全的安静。对这一事实的记录，不是这个事实；事实与记录它的文字完全不同。那种安静不被时间衡量。成为和存在，彼此之间没有关系；它们朝着完全不同的方向移动；一个不会导向另一个。在存在的静中，作为观察者、体验者的过去，不存在。没有关于时间的活动。它不是涌出的一段记忆，而是实际的动 —— 静止的动进入了无量。它不是一个从中心开始的动，那个从一个点到另一个点的运动；它没有中心，没有观察者。它是整个存在的旅行，整个存在与欲望没有矛盾。在这整个的旅途中，没有出发点，也没有抵达点。整个头脑是静，而这静，是一个动，不是头脑的旅行。

The drenching rain had come and gone, but there was still the sound of falling water everywhere. In the room it was very damp, and it would take several days for things to dry out. The man who had come had deep-set eyes, and a good body. He had renounced the world and its ways; and while he did not wear the robes of that renunciation, there was stamped on his face the thought of other things. He had not shaved recently, for he had been travelling, but he was freshly washed, and so were his clothes. pleasant and friendly of manner, with expressive hands, he sat gravely silent for a considerable time, testing out the atmosphere, feeling his way. presently he explained.

滂沱大雨来了又去，但到处都是雨的滴答声。房间里非常潮湿，需要几天的时间才能干爽。来的人有一双深沉的眼睛，还有一副好身材。他放弃了世俗和其中的套路；虽然他没有穿上弃世的长袍，但他的脸上却印上了其他事情的念头。他最近没刮胡子，因为他一直在旅行，但他刚刚洗过，他的衣服也是。他举止和蔼可亲，有表现力强的双手，静穆地沉默了相当长一段时间，试探着气氛，感受着自己的方式。现在，他说话了。

“I heard you many years ago, quite by chance, and something of what you said has always remained with me: that reality is not come by through discipline, or through any form of self-torture. Since that time I have been all over the land, seeing and hearing many things. I have rigidly disciplined myself. To overcome physical passion has not been too difficult, but other forms of desire have not been so easy to put away. I have practiced meditation every day for many years, without being able to get beyond a certain point. But what I want to discuss with you is self-discipline. Control of the body and the mind is essential – and to a great extent they have been controlled. But in talking over with a fellow-pilgrim the process of self-discipline, I have perceived the dangers of it. He has hurt himself physically in overcoming his sexual passion. One can go too far in that direction. But moderation in self-discipline is not easy. Achievement of any kind brings a sense of power. There is an exhilarating excitement in conquering others, but much more so in dominating oneself.”

“很多年前，我偶然听到你，你说的一些东西一直伴随着我：真理不是通过戒律或任何形式的自我折磨来实现的。那时，我已经走遍了各地，看到和听到很多东西。我严格地约束自己。克服肉体的激情并不太困难，但其他形式的欲望却没有那么容易放下。多年来，我每天都练习冥想，但无法超越某一点。但我想和你们讨论的是自律。对身体和头脑的控制是必不可少的 —— 而且在很大程度上，它们已经得到了控制。但是，在与一位朝圣者谈论自律的过程时，我已经意识到了它的危险。他在克服性激情时伤害了自己。人可以在那个方向上走得很远。但自律的节制并不容易。任何形式的成就都会带来一种权力感。征服他人有一种令人激动的兴奋，在支配自身时，则更是如此。”

Asceticism has its delights, just as worldliness has. “That is perfectly true. I know the pleasures of asceticism, and the sense of power it gives. As all ascetics and saints have always done, I have suppressed the bodily urges in order to make the mind sharp and quiescent. I have subjected the senses, and the desires that arise from them, to rigorous discipline, so that the spirit might be liberated. I have denied every form of comfort to the body, and slept in every kind of place; I have eaten any kind of food, except meat, and have fasted for days at. a time. I have meditated long hours with one-pointed endeavour; yet in spite of all this struggle and pain with its sense of power and inward joy, the mind does not seem to have gone beyond a certain point. It’s as though one came up against a wall, and do what one may, it will not be broken down.”

禁欲主义有它的乐趣，就像世俗一样。 “那是完全正确的。我知道禁欲主义的乐趣，以及它所赋予的权力感。正如所有苦行僧和圣人一直以来所做的那样，我压抑了身体的冲动，以使头脑变得敏锐和静止。我使各种感官和它们产生的欲望受到严格的约束，以便灵性得以解放。我否定了身体的各种形式的舒适，睡在各种地方；我吃过任何种类的食物，除了肉，并且已经禁食了好几天。在某个时间段。我专注于一点，冥想了很长时间；然而，尽管经历了所有这些挣扎和痛苦，以及它带来的权力感和内在的喜悦，头脑似乎并没有超越某个点。就好像一个人碰到了墙壁，无论自己怎么做，都没有打破它。”

On this side of the wall are the visions, the good acts, the cultivated virtues, the worship, the prayers, the self-denial, the gods; and all these things have only the significance that the mind gives to them. The mind is still the dominant factor, is it not? And is the mind capable of going beyond its own barriers, beyond itself? Isn’t that the question? “Yes. After thirty strenuously purposeful and disciplined years devoted to meditation and complete self-denial, why has this enclosing wall not been broken down? I have talked to many other ascetics who have had the same experience. There are, of course, those who exert that one must be still more arduous in self-denial, more purposeful in meditation, and so on; but I know I can do no more. All my efforts have only led to this present state of frustration.”

在墙的这一边是异象、善行、培养的美德、敬仰、祈祷、自我否定、神灵；所有这些东西都只是头脑赋予它们的意义。头脑仍然是支配因子，不是吗？头脑是否能够超越自己的障碍，超越自己？难道不是那个问题吗？ “是的。经过三十年艰苦地执着和自律投入到冥想和完全的自我否定中，为什么这堵围墙没有被打破？我和许多其他有同样经历的苦行僧交谈过。当然，有些人认为，人必须更加艰苦地自我否定，更加专注于冥想，等等。但我知道我已经无能为力。我所有的努力都导向现在这种沮丧的状态。”

No amount of toil and effort can break down this seemingly impenetrable wall; but perhaps we shall be able to understand the problem if we can look at it differently. Is it possible to approach the problems of life totally, with the whole of one’s being? “I don’t think I know what you mean.”

再多的辛劳和努力也无法打破这堵看似难以逾越的墙。但是，如果我们以不同的方式看待它，也许我们将能够理解这个问题。有没有可能用一个人的整个存在，完全地处理生活中的问题？ “我不认为我知道你的意思。”

Are you at any moment aware of your whole being, the totality of it? The totality is not realized by bringing together the many conflicting parts, is it? Can there be the feeling of the whole of your being – not the speculative whole, not what you think of or formulate as the whole, but the actual feeling of the whole?

你是否在任何时候都意识到你的整个存在，它的整体？整体不是把许多相互冲突的部分放在一起来而实现的，不是吗？难道不能感觉到你的整个存在吗？ —— 不是推测，不是你想出或构造出的整体，而是对这个整体的真实感受。

“Such a feeling may be possible, but I have never experienced it.”

“这种感觉也许是可能的，但我从未体验过。”

At present, a part of the mind is trying to capture the whole, is it not? One part is struggling against another part, one desire against another desire. The hidden mind is in conflict with the open; violence is attempting to become non-violent. Frustration is followed by hope, fulfilment and another frustration. That is all we know. There is the ceaseless pursuit of fulfilment, in whose very shadow is frustration; so we never know or experience wholeness of being. The body is against feeling; feeling is against thought; thought is pursuing the what should be, the ideal. We are broken up into fragments, and by bringing the various fragments together, we hope to make the whole. Is it ever possible to do this?

现在，头脑的一部分正试图捕捉整体，不是吗？一个部分正在与另一部分作斗争，一个欲望与另一个欲望作斗争。隐匿处的头脑与显露出的头脑相互冲突；暴力正试图成为非暴力。挫折之后是希望、成就和另一次挫折。这就是我们所知道的一切。有对实现的不懈追求，它的阴影即是挫折；所以我们从来不知道或没有体验到存在的完整性。身体反对感觉；感觉反抗思想；思想追求‘应该是’的、理想的状态。我们被撕扯成碎片，把各种碎片组合在一起，我们希望制造出整体。这种做法可行吗？

“But what else is there to do?”

“可是，还能怎么做？”

For the moment, let’s not be concerned with action; perhaps we shall come to that later. This feeling of the totality of your being, of your body, mind and heart is not the bringing together of all these fragments. You cannot make contradictory desires into a harmonious whole. To attempt to do so is an act of the mind, and the mind itself is only a part. A part cannot create the whole. “I see this; but then what?”

目前，让我们不要关心行动；也许我们稍后会谈到这一点。这种对你整个存在的感知，你的身体、头脑和心灵的整体感，并不是所有这些碎片的整合。你不能把相互矛盾的所有欲望，变成一个和谐的整体。尝试这样做，是头脑的一种行为，而头脑本身只是一个碎片。碎片不能创建整体。 “我看到了这一点；但那又如何呢？”

Our inquiry is not to find out what to do, but to discover this feeling of the whole of one’s being – actually to experience it. This feeling has its own action. When there is action without this feeling, then the problem arises of how to bridge the gulf between the fact and what should be, the ideal. Then we never feel completely, there is always a withholding; we never think totally, there is always fear; we never act freely, there is always a motive, something to be gained or avoided. Our living is always partial, never whole, and thereby we make ourselves insensitive. Through suppression of desire, through mere control of the mind, through denial of his bodily needs, the ascetic makes himself insensitive.

我们的调查不是要找出该怎么做，而是要发现一个人存在的完整性的这种感觉 —— 真实地体验它。这种感觉有它自身的行动。当没有这种感觉而去行动，问题就出现了：如何弥合事实与理想之间的鸿沟？然后我们永远不会完全地感知，总是有一种保留；我们从不完全地思考，总是有恐惧；我们从不自由地行动，总有一个动机，某个要获取或避免的东西。我们的生活总是片面的，从来都不完整，因此我们使自己变得不敏感。通过压抑欲望，只是去控制这个头脑，通过满足他的身体需求，苦行僧使他自己不敏感。

“Must not our desires be tamed?”

“难道我们的欲望不能被驯服吗？”

When they are tamed by suppressing them, they lose their vigour, and in this process the perceptions are dulled the mind is made insensitive; though freedom is sought, one has not the energy to find it. One needs abundant energy to find truth, and this energy is dissipated through the conflict which results from suppression, conformity, compulsion. But yielding to desire also breeds self-contradiction, which again dissipates energy.

当他们被镇压而驯服时，他们失去了他们的活力，在这个过程中，感知变得迟钝，头脑变得不灵敏；想要自由，人却没有能源去寻找它。一个人需要丰沛的能源来寻找真理，而这种能源通过压制、服从、强迫所引发的冲突而耗散。但是，屈服于欲望也会滋生自我矛盾，这也在耗费能源。

“Then how is one to conserve energy?”

“那该如何节约能源呢？”

The desire to conserve energy is greed. This essential energy cannot be conserved or accumulated; it comes into being with the cessation of contradiction within oneself. By its very nature, desire brings about contradiction and conflict. Desire is energy, and it has to be understood; it cannot merely be suppressed, or made to conform. Any effort to coerce or discipline desire makes for conflict, which brings with it insensitivity. All the intricate ways of desire must be known and understood. You cannot be taught and you cannot learn the ways of desire. To understand desire is to be choicelessly aware of its movements. If you destroy desire, you destroy sensitivity, as well as the intensity that is essential for the understanding of truth.

节约能源的欲望，是贪婪。这种本质的能源不能被节省或积累；它是随着一个人内心矛盾的停止而来的。就其本质而言，欲望带来了矛盾和冲突。欲望是能源，它必须被理解；它不能仅仅被压制，或使它驯服。任何胁迫或管教欲望的努力都会造成冲突，从而带来了不灵敏。欲望的所有错综复杂的方式，都必须被知晓和理解。你不能被教导，你不能学习欲望的方式。理解欲望就是无选择地意识到它的移动。如果你摧毁了欲望，你就摧毁了灵敏，以及对于理解真理至关重要的激情。

“Is there not intensity when the mind is one-pointed?”

“当头脑专一的时候，难道没有激情吗？”

Such intensity is a hindrance to reality, because it is the result of limiting, narrowing down the mind through the action of will; and will is desire. There is an intensity which is wholly different: the strange intensity which comes with total being, that is, when one’s whole being is integrated, not put together through the desire for a result. “Will you say something more about this total being?”

这种激情是真理的障碍，因为，它是通过意志的作用，头脑被限制、缩紧的产物；意志就是欲望。有一种激情是完全不同的：一种来自于整个存在的奇怪的激情，那是，一个人的整个存在被整合的时候，不是通过欲望而组合的产物。 “关于这个完整的存在，你能再多说一些吗？”

It is the feeling of being whole undivided, not fragmented – an intensity in which there is no tension no pull of desire with its contradictions. It is this intensity, this deep, unpremeditated impulse, that will break down the wall which the mind has built around itself. That wall is the ego, the ‘me’, the self. All activity of the self is separative, enclosing, and the more it struggles to break through its own barriers, the stronger those barriers become. The efforts of the self to be free only build up its own energy, its own sorrow. When the truth of this is perceived, only then is there the movement of the whole. This movement has no centre, as it has no beginning and no end; it’s a movement beyond the measure of the mind – the mind that is put together through time. The understanding of the activities of the conflicting parts of the mind, which make up the self, the ego, is meditation.

它是一种完整感，没有分割、没有碎片化的感觉 —— 在这种激情中，没有紧张，没有欲望的拉扯及其矛盾。正是这种激情，这种深刻的、毫无预谋的冲动，将打破头脑围绕自身建立的墙壁。那堵墙就是自我、‘我’、自己。自我的所有活动都是分离的、封闭的，它越是努力突破自己的障碍，这些障碍就越强大。我想要自由的努力，只会建立它自己的能源、自己的悲伤。当这些事实被感知，唯有如此，才有整体的运动。这个运动没有中心，因为它没有开始，也没有结束；这运动超越了头脑的尺度 —— 这个头脑是通过时间而装配出来的。理解头脑各个碎片之间的相互冲突的活动 —— 正是这些活动构建出了我、自我，即是冥想。