TWO MEN WERE engaged in digging a long, narrow grave. It was fine, sandy soil, without too much clay, and the digging was easy. Now they were trimming the corners and making it neat all round. Some palm trees overhung the grave, and they had big bunches of golden coconuts. The men wore only loincloths, and their bare bodies were shining in the early morning sun. The light soil was still damp from the recent rains, and the leaves of the trees, stirred by a gentle breeze, were sparkling in the clear morning air. It was a lovely day, and as the sun had only just come over the treetops it still wasn’t too hot. The sea was pale blue and very calm, and the white waves were coming in lazily. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky, and the waning moon was in mid-heaven. The grass was very green, and the birds were everywhere, calling to each other in different notes. There was great peace over the land.
两个男人正在挖一个狭长的坟墓。 细腻的沙质土壤，没有太多粘土，挖起来很容易。 现在他们正在修剪角落，让它整齐地圆整。 一些棕榈树高悬在坟墓上，它们有一大束金色的棕榈果。 男人们只穿腰布，裸露的身体在清晨的阳光下闪光。 细腻的土壤仍然被最近的雨水所潮湿， 树叶在微风的吹拂下摆动， 在清晨清新的空气中闪光。 这是一个美好的一天， 由于太阳刚上树梢，还不太热。 大海淡蓝色，非常平静，白色的海浪懒洋洋地来了。 天空中没有一朵云，渐渐消失的月亮在天中。 草地非常绿，到处都是鸟儿， 用不同的音符互相呼唤。这片土地上有很大的和平。
Across the narrow ditch the men placed two long planks, and across these in turn a solid rope. Their bright loincloths and dark, sunburnt bodies had given life to the empty grave; but now they were gone, and the soil was quickly drying in the sun. It was quite a big cemetery, without much order, but well-kept. The rows of white slabs with names carved upon them had been discoloured by the many rains. Two gardeners worked there all day long, watering, trimming, planting and weeding. One was tall, and the other was short and plump. Except for a cloth on their heads against the burning sun, they too wore only loincloths, and their skin was nearly black. On rainy days the soiled cloth around their loins was still their only garment, and the rains washed their dark bodies. The tall one was now watering a flowering bush which he had just planted. From a large round, earthenware pot with a narrow neck, he was sprinkling the water over the leaves and flowers. The pot glistened in the sun as the muscles in his dark body moved with ease, and the way he stood had grace and dignity. It was a beautiful thing to watch. The shadows were long in the morning sun.
在狭窄的土坑里，男人们放下两块长木板， 在它们铺成十字，中间用一根结实的绳子绑着。 他们明亮的腰布和黑暗的、被曝晒的身体给空荡荡的坟墓赋予了生命。 但现在他们不见了，土壤在阳光下迅速干燥。 这是一个相当大的墓地，不怎么有秩序，但维护得很好。 一排排刻有名字的白色石板被许多雨水弄得变色了。 两个园丁整天在那里工作，浇水，修剪，种植和除草。 一个很高，另一个又矮又胖。 除了头上戴着一块布，抵挡着烈日， 他们也只穿腰布，皮肤几乎是黑色的。 在下雨天，他们腰部周围的脏布仍然是他们唯一的衣服， 雨水冲刷他们黑暗的身体。 那个高个子，现在正在浇灌他刚种的开花灌木。 他从一个脖颈很窄的大圆形陶罐里， 把水倒出，洒在树叶和花朵上。 罐子在阳光下闪亮，他黑暗的身体里，肌肉在轻松移动， 他站立的方式优雅而有尊严。 这是一件值得一看的美好事情。 在清晨的阳光下，阴影拉得很长。
Attention is a strange thing. We never look but through a screen of words, explanations and prejudices; we never listen save through judgments, comparisons and remembrances. The very naming of the flower, or the bird, is a distraction. The mind is never still to look, to listen. The moment it looks, it is off on its restless wanderings; in the very act of listening there is an interpretation, a recollection, an enjoyment, and attention is denied. The mind may be absorbed by the thing it sees or listens to, as a child is by a toy, but this is not attention. Nor is concentration attention, for concentration is the way of exclusion and resistance. There is attention only when the mind is not absorbed by an inward or outward idea or object. Attention is the complete good.
注意是一个奇怪的东西。 我们从不看，而是通过文字、解释和偏见的大屏幕； 我们从不听，除非通过判断、比较和回忆的过滤网。 对花或鸟的命名，本身就是一种分心。 头脑永远不会停下，安静地看、听。 当它看的那一刹，它就滑入躁动不安的思绪里。 在听的动作中，有一种解释，一种回忆，一种享受， 而注意，被拒绝了。 头脑可能会被它所看见或听到的东西吸引， 就像孩子被玩具吸引一样，但这不是注意。 专注也不是注意， 因为，专注是排斥和抵抗的方式。 只有当头脑没有被内在或外在的想法或对象所吸引时，才有注意。 注意是完整的善。
He was a middle-aged man, nearly bald, with clear observant eyes, and his face was lined with worry and anxiety. The father of several children, he explained that his wife had died with the birth of the last child, and now they were all living with some relative. Although he was still employed, his salary was small, and it was difficult to make ends meet, but somehow they got through each month without too much strain. The eldest son was earning his own way, and the second was in college. He himself came of a family that had the austere traditions of many centuries, and this background now stood him in good stead. But for the coming generation, things were going to be very different; the world was changing rapidly, and the old traditions were crumbling. In any case, life would have its own way, and it was futile to grumble. He hadn’t come to talk about his family, or the future, but about himself.
他是一个中年男人，几乎秃顶，有清晰的观察力， 脸上挂满了担忧和焦虑。作为几个孩子的父亲， 他解释说，他的妻子随着最后一个孩子的出生而死去， 现在他们都和一些亲戚住在一起。 虽然他仍然在职，但他的薪水很低， 很难维持生计， 但不知何故，他们每个月都扛了过来，并没有太大的压力。 长子以自己的方式赚钱，第二个在上大学。 他本人来自一个拥有许多个世纪的严苛传统的家庭， 这种背景现在使他处于有利地位。 但对于下一代人来说，情况将大不相同。 世界正在迅速变化，旧的传统正在崩溃。 无论如何，生活会有自己的方式，抱怨是徒劳的。 他不是来谈论他的家庭或未来，而是来谈论他自己。
“Ever since I can remember, I seem to have been in a state of contradiction. I have always had ideals, and have always fallen far short of them. From my earliest years I have felt a pull towards the monastic life, the life of solitude and meditation, and I have ended up with a family. I once thought that I would like to be a scholar, but instead I have become an office drudge. My whole life has been a series of disturbing contrasts, and even now I am in the midst of self-contradictions which bother me greatly; for I want to be at peace with myself, and I don’t seem able to harmonize these conflicting desires. What am I to do?”
“从我记事起，我似乎一直处于矛盾状态。 我一直有理想，但总是远远够不到理想。 从我早年起，我就感受到对修道院生活的向往， 隐匿和冥想的生活，最终，我有了一个家庭。 我曾经以为我想成为一名学者， 但相反，我拥有一个办公室的苦差事。 我的一生，就是一系列令人不安的反差， 即使现在，我仍处于自我矛盾之中，这些矛盾极大地困扰着我； 因为我想与自己和平相处， 而我似乎无法协调这些相互冲突的欲望。 我该怎么办？”
Surely, there can never be a harmony or integration of opposing desires. Can you harmonize hate and love? Can ambition and the desire for peace ever be brought together? Mustn’t they always be contradictory? “But cannot conflicting desires be brought under control? Cannot these wild horses be tamed?”
当然，对立的欲望永远不可能和谐或融合。 你能协调恨与爱吗？ 野心与对和平的欲望，能走到一起吗？ 难道它们不总是矛盾的吗？ “但是，冲突的欲望难道不能得以控制吗？ 难道这些野马不能被驯服吗？”
You have tried, haven’t you? “Yes, for many years.”
你试过了，不是吗？“是的，有很多年了。”
And have you succeeded? “No, but that is because I haven’t properly disciplined desire, I haven’t tried hard enough. The fault is not with discipline, but with him who fails in discipline.”
你成功了吗？ “没有，但那是因为我没有正确地管教欲望，我没有足够努力。 错不在戒律，而在于那些在管教中失败的人。”
Is not this very disciplining of desire the breeder of contradiction? To discipline is to resist, to suppress; and is not resistance or suppression the way of conflict? When you discipline desire, who is the ‘you’ that is doing the disciplining?
这种对欲望的管教，难道不是矛盾的滋生者吗？ 管教就是对抗、压制； 对抗或压制难道不是冲突的方式吗？ 当你管教欲望时，那个欲望的管教者是谁？
“It’s the higher self.”
“它是更高的自我。”
Is it? Or is it merely one part of the mind trying to dominate the other, one desire suppressing another desire? This suppression of one part of the mind, by another which you call the ‘higher self’, can only lead to conflict. All resistance is productive of strife. However much one desire may suppress or discipline another, that so-called higher desire breeds other desires which soon are in revolt. Desire multiplies itself; there isn’t just one desire. Haven’t you noticed this?
它是吗？ 还是它只是头脑的一部分试图支配另一部分， 一种欲望压制另一种欲望？ 这种对头脑某部分的压制，由头脑的另一部分来实施，你称之为‘更高的自我’， 只会导致冲突。 所有的抵抗都是冲突的产物。 无论一种欲望如何压制或管教另一种欲望， 这种所谓的‘更高欲望’都会滋生出其它的欲望，而这些欲望会很快开始反抗。 欲望在不断地繁衍倍增；而不是只有一个欲望。 你没有注意到这一点吗？
“Yes, I have noticed that in disciplining a particular desire, other desires spring up around it. You have to go after them one by one.”
“是的，我注意到，在管教一个特定的欲望时， 其它的欲望会在它的周围冒出来。 你必须一个接一个地追捕它们。”
And so spend a lifetime pursuing and holding down one desire after another – only to find at the end that desire still remains. Will is desire, and it can tyrannically dominate all other desires; but what is thus conquered has to be conquered again and again. Will can become a habit; and a mind that functions in the groove of habit is mechanical, dead. “I’m not sure I understand all the finer points of what you are explaining, but I am aware of the entanglements and contradictions of desire. If there were only one contradiction in me, I could put up with its strife, but there are several of them. How am I to be at peace?”
因此，花一辈子的时间去追求和压抑一个又一个的欲望 —— 最后却发现，这个欲望仍然存在。 意志就是欲望，它可以专制地主宰所有其他欲望； 但是，被征服的东西必须一次又一次地被征服。 意志可以成为一种习惯； 而一个在习惯的凹槽中运作的头脑，是机械的，是死的。 “我不确定我是否理解你所解释的所有细节， 但我意识到欲望的纠缠和矛盾。 如果我心中只有一个矛盾， 我可以忍受它的冲突，但里面却有好多个。 我怎样才能平和呢？”
To understand is one thing, and to desire to be at peace is another. With understanding there does come peace, but the mere desire to be at peace only strengthens desire, which is the source of all conflict. A strong, dominant desire never brings peace but only builds an imprisoning wall around itself. “Then how is one to get out of this net of self-contradictory desires?”
理解是一回事，想要和平是另一回事。 伴随着理解，确实会出现和平， 但仅仅想要和平，只会加强欲望， 而欲望是所有冲突的根源。 一个强烈的、占主导地位的欲望永远不会带来和平， 而只会在自己周围筑起一堵囚禁它自己的墙。 “那么，如何才能摆脱这一堆自相矛盾的欲望呢？”
Is the ‘how’ an inquiry, or the demand for a method by which to put an end to contradiction?
‘如何’是一种调查，还是要求一个结束矛盾的方法？
“I suppose I am asking for a method. But isn’t it only through the patient and rigorous practice of a proper method that one can end this strife?”
“我想，我是在要求一种方法。 但是，难道不是只有通过耐心和严格地实践一种正确的方法， 人才能结束这场冲突吗？”
Again, any method implies an effort to control, suppress or sublimate desire, and in this effort, resistance in different forms, subtle or brutal, is built up. It’s like living in a narrow passage that shuts you away from the vastness of life. “You seem to be very much against discipline.”
同样，任何方法都意味着控制、压制或升华欲望的努力， 在这种努力中，不同形式的抵抗，微妙或残酷的，被建立起来了。 这就像生活在一条狭窄的巷道里， 把你与浩瀚的生活隔绝开来。 “你似乎非常反对戒律。”
I am only pointing out that a disciplined moulded mind is not a free mind. With the understanding of desire, discipline loses its significance. The understanding of desire is of far greater significance than discipline, which is mere conformity to a pattern.
我只是指出：一个管教模式下的头脑，不是一个自由的头脑。 随着对欲望的理解，戒律就失去了它的意义。 对欲望的理解远比戒律更重要， 戒律只是顺从一种模式。
“If there’s to be no discipline, then how is the mind to be free from desire, which brings all these contradictions?”
“如果没有戒律，那么头脑如何摆脱欲望， 这个带来所有这些矛盾的东西？”
Desire does not bring contradictions. Desire is contradiction. That is why it’s important to understand desire. “What do you mean by understanding desire?”
欲望不会带来矛盾。欲望就是矛盾。 那就是为什么理解欲望很重要。 “你说的理解欲望是什么意思？”
It is to be aware of desire, without naming it, without rejecting or accepting it. It is to be simply aware of desire, as you would be of a child. If you would understand a child you must observe it, and such observation is not possible if there’s any sense of condemnation, justification or comparison. Similarly, to understand desire, there must be this simple awareness of it.
它是要意识到欲望，不给它命名，不拒绝或接受它。 它只是简单地意识到欲望，就像你对一个孩子一样。 如果你理解一个孩子，你必须观察它， 如果有谴责、辩护或比较的任何一种感觉， 这种观察就不可能存在。 同样，要理解欲望，必须有这种对它的简单意识。
“Will there then be the cessation of self-contradiction?”
“那么，自我矛盾就会停止吗？”
Is it possible to guarantee anything in these matters? And this very urge to be sure, safe – is it not another form of desire?
在这些问题上，有可能作出任何保证吗？ 这种对确定、对安全的冲动 —— 难道不是另一种形式的欲望吗？
Sir, have you ever known a moment when there has been no self-contradiction? “Perhaps in sleep, but not otherwise.”
先生，你有没有体验过没有自我矛盾的时刻？ “也许在睡觉，但不是这样。”
Sleep is not necessarily a state of peace, or of freedom from self-contradiction – but that’s another matter.
睡眠不一定是一种和平的状态，也不一定是摆脱自我矛盾的状态 —— 但那是另一回事。
Why have you never known such a moment? Haven’t you experienced total action – an action involving your mind and your heart well as your body, the totality of your whole being? “Unfortunately, I have never known such a pure moment. Complete self-forgetfulness must be a great bliss, but it has never happened to me, and I think very few are ever blessed in that manner.”
为什么你从来不知道这样的时刻？ 难道你没有体验过整体的行动吗？ —— 一个投入你的头脑、你的心灵、你的身体、你整个存在的整体性的行动？ “不幸的是，我从来不知道这么纯粹的时刻。 完全的自我遗忘一定是一种极大的幸福， 但它从未发生在我身上， 我认为很少有人以这种方式得到祝福。”
Sir, when the self is absent, do we not know love – not the love that is called personal or impersonal, worldly or divine, but love without the interpreting mind?
先生，当自我缺席时，难道我们不知道爱吗？ —— 不是所谓个人的或非个人的，世俗的或神圣的爱， 而是没有被头脑解释的爱？
“Sometimes, when I am sitting at my desk in the office, a strange feeling of ‘otherness’ does come over me – but it’s such a rare thing. If only it would last and not fade away.”
“有时候，当我坐在办公室的办公桌前， 一种奇怪的‘另类’感确实会降临到我身上 —— 但这是一件非常罕见的事情。 要是它能持续下去而不消失，那就好了。”
How acquisitive we are! We want to hold that which cannot be held; we want to remember that which is not the stuff of memory. All this wanting, pursuing, reaching, which is the desire to be, to become, makes for contradiction, the building up of the self. The self can never know love; it can only know desire, with its contradictions and miseries. Love is not a thing to be pursued, to be gained; it is not to be bought through the practice of virtue. All such pursuits are the ways of the self, of desire; and with desire there is always the pain of contradiction.
我们是多么贪婪！ 我们想要抓住那些不能持有的东西； 我们想记住那些不是记忆的东西。 所有这些想要、追求、达成，也就是占据、成为的欲望， 制造出矛盾，建立起自我。 自我永远不可能知道爱； 它只知道欲望，以及它的矛盾和痛苦。 爱不是一个要追求、要获得的东西； 它不是通过美德的实践来购买的。 所有这些追求都是自我的前途、欲望的方式； 伴随着欲望的降临，矛盾的痛苦如影相伴。