对生活的评注 1-74

THE LITTLE PUPPIES were plump and clean, and were playing in the warm sand. There were six of them, all white and light brown. The mother was lying a little away from them in the shade. She was thin and worn out, and so mangy that she had hardly a hair on her. There were several wounds on her body, but she wagged her tail and was so proud of those round puppies. She probably would not survive for more than a month or so. She was one of those dogs that prowl about, picking up what they can from the filthy streets or around a poor village, always hungry and always on the run. Human beings threw stones at her, chased her from their door, and they were to be avoided. But here in the shade the memories of yesterday were distant, and she was exhausted; Besides, the puppies were being petted and talked to. It was late afternoon; the breeze from across the wide river was fresh and cooling, and for the moment there was contentment. Where she would get her next meal was another matter, but why struggle now ?

小狗狗们圆圆胖胖而干净，在温暖的沙滩上玩耍。有六只小仔，都是白而浅棕色的。母亲在阴凉处，离他们有些远。她很瘦，很疲惫，而且有非常多的疥癣，几乎没有毛。她身上有几处伤口，但她摇着尾巴，为那些圆润的小狗们感到骄傲。她可能活不过一个月。她属于那种流浪狗，从肮脏的街道上或贫穷的村庄周围，捡起她们能捡到的东西，总是饿着肚子，总在逃跑。人类向她投掷石块，把她从门外赶走，要躲避他们。但在树荫下，昨天的记忆是遥远的，她已经疲倦了。此外，小狗狗们被抚摸和交谈。夜幕临近；从宽阔的河面的对岸，吹来了清新凉爽的微风，此刻有一种满足。她的下一顿饭在哪里吃是另一回事，但为什么现在要挣扎呢？

Past the village, along the embankment, beyond the green fields and then down a dusty and noisy road, was the house in which people were waiting a to talk over. They were of every type: the thoughtful and the eager, the lazy and the argumentative, the quick-witted and those who lived according to definitions and conclusions. The thoughtful were patient, and the quick-witted were sharp with those who dragged; but the slow had to come with the fast. Understanding comes in flashes, and there must be intervals of silence for the flashes to take place; but the quick are too impatient to allow space for these flashes. Understanding is not verbal, nor is there such a thing as intellectual understanding. Intellectual understanding is only on the verbal level, and so no understanding at all. Understanding does not come as a result of thought, for thought after all is verbal. There is no thought without memory, and memory is the word, the symbol, the process of image-making. At this level there is no understanding. Understanding comes in the space between two words, in that interval before the word shapes thought. Understanding is neither for the quick-witted nor for the slow, but for those who are aware of this measureless space.

经过村庄，沿着堤岸，越过绿色的田野，然后沿着一条尘土飞扬、嘈杂的道路往下走，抵达一所房子，人们正在里面等待着交谈。他们是各种类型的人：深思熟虑者、热心肠、懒人和好辩者、机智者和那些按照定义和结论生活的人。深思熟虑的人有耐心，机智的人对那些拖延的人很尖锐；但是有慢必定有快。理解是一闪而现的，必须有安静的间隙才能发生闪光；但是反应快的人太不耐烦了，无法为这些闪光腾出空间。理解不是言语化的，也没有所谓的‘智力上的理解’。 ‘智力上的理解’只是在言语的层面上，所以根本没有理解。理解不是思想的结果，因为思想毕竟是言语的勾当。没有记忆，就没有思想，记忆是文字、象征，是制造印象的流水线。在这个层面，理解是不存在的。理解出现于两个词语之间的空隙，居住在词语制造出思想之前的那段空白中。理解既不是给机智的人，也不是给愚钝的人，而是给那些意识到这个无量空间的人。

“What is disintegration? We see the rapid disintegration of human relationship in the world, but more so in ourselves. How can this falling apart be stopped? How can we integrate?”

“什么是崩溃？我们看见在这个世界上，人与人的关系正在迅速地崩溃，而在我们自己身上，更是如此。如何才能阻止这种崩塌？我们该如何整合？”

There is integration if we can be watchful of the ways of disintegration. Integration is not on one or two levels of our existence, it is the coming together of the whole. Before that can be, we must find out what we mean by disintegration, must we not? Is conflict an indication of disintegration? We are not seeking a definition, but the significance behind that word. “Is not struggle inevitable? All existence is struggle; without struggle there would be decay. If I did not struggle towards a goal I would degenerate. To struggle if as essential as breathing.”

如果我们能够警惕崩溃的方式，就有完整。完整不在我们存在的一两个层面上，而是作为一种整体的呈现。在此之前，我们必须弄清楚我们所说的‘崩溃’是什么意思，不是吗？冲突是崩溃的迹象吗？我们不是在寻求一个定义，而是在寻求这个词背后的意义。 “挣扎难道不是不可避免的吗？一切的存在都是挣扎；没有挣扎，就会腐朽。如果我不朝着一个目标挣扎，我就会堕落。挣扎，如同呼吸一样重要。”

A categorical statement stops all inquiry. We are trying to find out what are the factors of disintegration, and perhaps conflict, struggle, is one of them. What do we mean by conflict, struggle? “Competition, striving, making an effort, the will to achieve, discontent, and so on.”

绝对的陈述会阻止所有的调查。我们正试图找出什么是崩溃的因素，也许冲突、挣扎，就是其中之一。我们所说的冲突、挣扎是什么意思？ “竞争、奋斗、努力、达成的意愿、不满足，等等。”

Struggle is not only at one level of existence, but at all levels. The process of becoming is struggle, conflict, is it not? The clerk becoming the manager, the vicar becoming the bishop, the pupil becoming the Master – this psychological becoming is effort, conflict.

挣扎不仅在存在的某一个层面上，而是在各种层面上。成为的过程，就是挣扎、冲突，不是吗？小职员成为管理者，牧师成为主教，弟子成为老师 —— 这种心理上的成为，就是努力、冲突。

“Can we do without this process of becoming? Is it not a necessity? How can one be free of conflict? Is there not fear behind this effort?”

“我们真的能去除这个成为的过程吗？它不是一种必需品吗？一个人怎样才能摆脱冲突？这种努力的背后，难道没有恐惧吗？”

We are trying to find out, to experience, not merely at the verbal level, but deeply, what makes for disintegration, and not how to be free of conflict or what lies behind it. Living and becoming are two different states, are they not? Existence may entail effort; but we are considering the process of becoming, the psychological urge to be better, to become something, the struggle to change what is into its opposite. This psychological becoming may be the factor that makes everyday living painful, competitive, a vast conflict. What do we mean by becoming? The psychological becoming of the priest who wants to be the bishop, of the disciple who wants to be the Master, and so on. In this process of becoming there is effort, positive or negative; it is the struggle to change what is into something else, is it not? I am this, and I want to become that, and this becoming is a series of conflicts. When I have become that, there is still another that, and so on endlessly. The this becoming that is without end, and so conflict is without end. Now, why do I want to become something other than what I am?

我们试图去找出，体验，不仅在言语的层面上，而是深入进去，是什么导致了崩溃，而不是如何摆脱冲突或者它背后躺着什么。生活和成为，是两种不同的状态，不是吗？生存可能需要努力；但我们在考虑成为的过程，这种在心理上想要更好、成为某种人物的冲动，这是一种想把现状变成它的对立面的挣扎。这种心理上的成为，可能是这样的因素是它使日常的生活变得痛苦、竞争、一场巨大的冲突。我们所说的‘成为’是什么意思？心理上的成为：牧师想成为主教，弟子想成为大师，等等。在这个成为的过程中，有努力，不论是主动的还是被动的；这个挣扎就是改变现状，使它变成某个样子，它不是吗？我是这个样子，我想成为那，而这种成为的动作，就是一系列的冲突。当我成为那样的人时，还有另一个榜样，还有无数个榜样。这种成为，是没有尽头的，所以冲突是没有尽头的。现在，为什么我想成为别人的样子？

“Because of our conditioning, because of social influences, because of our ideals. We cannot help it, it is our nature.”

“因为我们的局限，因为社会影响，因为我们的理想。我们无法摆脱它，它是我们的本性。”

Merely to say that we cannot help it puts an end to discussion.

，那么这个讨论就到头了。

It is a sluggish mind that makes this assertion and just puts up with suffering, which is stupidity. Why are we so conditioned? Who conditions us? Since we submit to being conditioned, we ourselves make those conditions. Is it the ideal that makes us struggle to become that when we are this? Is it the goal, the Utopia, that makes for conflict? Would we degenerate if we did not struggle towards an end?

它是一个迟钝的头脑，所做出的这种断言，仅仅去承受痛苦，是愚蠢的。我们为什么如此受限？谁在限制我们？因为我们屈服于被限制，我们自己就制造出这些限制。我们就是这样的人，是理想在鞭策我们，挣扎着成为那样的人吗？是目标，是乌托邦，在制造冲突吗？如果我们不为目标而挣扎，我们会堕落吗？

“Of course. We would stagnate, go from bad to worse. It is easy to fall into hell but difficult to climb to heaven.”

“当然了。我们会停滞不前，从糟糕走向更糟。掉进地狱很容易，但爬上天堂却很难。”

Again we have ideas, opinions about what would happen, but we do not directly experience the happening. Ideas prevent understanding, as do conclusions and explanations. Do ideas and ideals make us struggle to achieve, to become? I am this, and does the ideal make me struggle to become that? Is the ideal the cause of conflict? Is the ideal wholly dissimilar from what is? If it is completely different, if it has no relationship with what is, then what is cannot become the ideal. To become, there must be relationship between what is and the ideal, the goal. You say the ideal is giving us the impetus to struggle, so let us find out how the ideal comes into being. Is not the ideal a projection of the mind?

瞧，我们又对可能发生的事情，抱持着某些想法和观念，我们却不去直接体验正在发生的事情。想法阻拦理解，结论和解释也是如此。想法和理想在驱使我们为了达成、成为而挣扎，不是吗？我是这样的人，理想在驱使我挣扎着成为那样的人，不是吗？理想是冲突的根源吗？理想是否与现状完全不同？如果它完全地不同，如果它与现状没有关联，那么现状就不可能成为理想。要成为，在现状与理想、目标之间，必须有关联。你说：理想给了我们挣扎的动力，所以让我们来看看理想是如何形成的。理想不是头脑的投影吗？

“I want to be like you. Is that a projection?”

“我想成为你这样的人。那是一个投影吗？”

Of course it is. The mind has an idea, perhaps pleasurable, and it wants to be like that idea, which is a projection of your desire. You are this, which you do not like, and you want to become that, which you like. The ideal is a self-projection; the opposite is an extension of what is; it is not the opposite at all, but a continuity of what is, perhaps somewhat modified. The projection is self-willed, and conflict is the struggle towards the projection. What is projects itself as the ideal and struggles towards it, and this struggle is called becoming. The conflict between the opposites is considered necessary, essential. This conflict is the what is trying to become what it is not; and what it is not is the ideal, the self-projection. You are struggling to become something, and that something is part of yourself. The ideal is your own projection. See how the mind has played a trick upon itself. You are struggling after words, pursuing your own projection, your own shadow. You are violent, and you are struggling to become non-violent, the ideal; but the ideal is a projection of what is, only under a different name. This struggle is considered necessary, spiritual, evolutionary, and so on; but it is wholly within the cage of the mind and only leads to illusion.

它当然是。头脑有一个想法，也许是令人愉快的，它想与那个想法一致，那个想法就是你的欲望的一个投影。你是这个样子，你不喜欢这样，你想成为你喜欢的那个样子。理想是自我的投影；对立面是现状的延伸；它根本不是对立的，而是现状的一种延续，也许有些修改。这个投影是自我的意愿，而冲突是朝着投射的方向而挣扎。现状投射出它自己的影子，被当作理想，并朝向它挣扎，而这种挣扎被称之为‘成为’。对立面之间的冲突被认为是必要的、必不可少的。这个冲突就是‘现状’试图成为不是它自己的样子；而现状不是理想，不是自我的投影。你正在努力成为某个人物，而那个人物是你自己的一部分。理想就是你自己的影子。看看头脑是如何与它自己捉迷藏的。你在言语中挣扎，追逐你自己的投射、你自己的影子。你是暴力的，你正在努力成为非暴力的、理想的人物；但理想是现状的投影，只是取了一个不同的名字。这个挣扎被认为是必要的、灵性的、进化的，等等；但它完全困在头脑的笼子里，只导致出幻觉。

When you are aware of this trick which you have played upon yourself, then the false as the false is seen. The struggle towards an illusion is the disintegrating factor. All conflict, all becoming is disintegration. When there is an awareness of this trick that the mind has played upon itself, then there is only what is. When the mind is stripped of all becoming, of all ideals, of all comparison and condemnation, when its own structure has collapsed, then the what is has undergone complete transformation. As long as there is the naming of what is there is relationship between the mind and what is; but when this naming process – which is memory, the very structure of the mind – is not, then what is is not. In this transformation alone is there integration.

当你意识到你对你自己玩弄的这个把戏时，那么，看见假就是假。朝着虚假而挣扎，就是导致崩溃的因素。所有的冲突，一切的成为，就是崩塌。当意识到头脑对自己玩弄的这个把戏，那么只存在现状。当剥掉了头脑中的所有的成为、一切的理想、所有的比较与谴责，当它自身的结构崩塌了，那么现状经历了一场完全的转变。只要有对现状的命名，那么头脑与现状就产生了关联；但是，当这个命名的流水线 —— 也就是记忆，这个头脑的框架 —— 消亡，那么现状就不见了。唯有这场转变，才是完整。

Integration is not the action of will, it is not the process of becoming integrated. When disintegration is not, when there is no conflict, no struggle to become, only then is there the being of the whole, the complete.