HE WAS RATHER fat and very pleased with himself. He had been to prison several times and had been beaten by the police, and now he was a well-known politician on his way to becoming a minister. He was at several of the meetings, sitting unobtrusively, one among the many; but the many were aware of him, and he was conscious of them. When he spoke, he had the authoritative voice of the platform; many of the people looked at him, and his voice came down to their level. Though he was among them, he had set himself apart; he was the big politician, known and looked up to; but the regard only went to a certain point, and no further. One was aware of all this as the discussion began, and there was that peculiar atmosphere that comes when a well-known figure is among the audience, an atmosphere of surprise and expectation, of camaraderie and suspicion, of condescending aloofness and pleasure.
他很胖，对自己很愉悦。 他去过几次监狱，被警察殴打过， 现在他是一个著名的政治家，正走在成为一名部长的路上。 他参加了几次面谈，不显眼地坐着，是众人中的一个。 但很多人都知道他，他也意识到这个事实。 当他讲话时，具有讲台上的权威声； 很多人看着他，他的声音降到了他们的水平。 虽然他就在他们中间，但他使得自己与众不同。 他是大政治家，广为人知，备受尊敬； 但这种尊敬只到达某个点，没有更进一步。 当讨论开始时，人意识到了这一切， 当观众中有一个知名人物的时候， 就会出现一种奇特的气氛： 一种惊讶和期待、友情和怀疑的气氛， 一种居高临下的冷漠和愉悦。
He had come with a friend, and the friend began to explain who he was: the number of times he had been to prison, the beatings he had had, and the immense sacrifices he had made for the cause of the freedom of his country. He had been a wealthy man, thoroughly Europeanised, with a large house and gardens, several cars, and so on. As the friend was narrating the big man’s exploits, his voice became more and more admiring and respectful; but there was an undercurrent, a thought that seemed to say, “He may not be all that he should be, but after all, look at the sacrifices he has made, at least that is something.” The big man himself talked of improvement, of hydro-electrical development, of bringing prosperity to the people, of the current threat of Communism, of vast schemes and goals. Man was forgotten, but plans and ideologies remained.
他和一个朋友一起来访，这位朋友开始解释他是谁： 他多次关进监狱，他所遭受的殴打， 以及他为国家的自由事业而做出的巨大牺牲。 他是一个富有的人，完全欧洲化， 有一栋大房子和花园，几辆车，等等。 当这位朋友讲述这位大人物的功绩时，他的声音变得越来越钦佩和尊重。 却有一股暗流，似乎在说， “他可能配不上这些， 可毕竟，看看他所做的牺牲，至少那是一件了不起的事。” 这位大人物他自己谈到了改进，谈到了水电的发展， 谈到了给人民带来繁荣，谈到了共产主义对当前的威胁，谈到了宏大的规划和目标。 人们被遗忘了，规划和意识形态却在。
Renunciation to gain an end is barter; in it there is no living up, but only exchange. Self-sacrifice is an extension of the self. The sacrifice of the self is a refinement of the self, and however subtle the self may make itself, it is still enclosed, petty, limited.
放弃以达到某个目的，就是以物易物；其中没有放弃，只有交易。 自我牺牲，是自我的扩张。 这种牺牲，是自我的修炼， 无论自我如何使自己变得微妙，它依然是封闭的、琐碎的、受限的。
Renunciation for a cause, however great, however extensive and significant, is substitution of the cause for the self; the cause or the idea becomes the self, the “me” and the “mine.” Conscious sacrifice is the expansion of the self, living up in order to gather again; conscious sacrifice is negative assertion of the self. To give up is another form of acquisition. You renounce this in order to gain that. This is put at a lower level, that at a higher level; and to gain the higher, you “give up” the lower. In this process, there is no living up, but only a gaining of greater satisfaction; and the search for greater satisfaction has no element of sacrifice. Why use a righteous-sounding word for a gratifying activity in which all indulge? You “gave up” your social position in order to gain a different kind of position, and presumably you have it now; so your sacrifice has brought you the desired reward. Some want their reward in heaven, others here and now.
放弃，以便于成就某个目标，无论它多么的伟大、广阔和重要， 都是自我在给它自己找替身； 目标或理念变成了自我，‘我’和‘我的’。 有意识的牺牲是自我的扩张，是为了再次的聚集而放弃； 有意识的牺牲是自我的否定性的主张。 放弃是另一种形式的获取。你为了得到那个而放弃这个。 这个被放在一个较低的层面上，那个在一个较高的层面上； 为了获得更高的，你‘放弃’了更低的。 在这个过程中，并没有放弃，有的只是获取更大的满足感； 这个对更大的满足感的寻求，并没有牺牲的元素。 为什么要用一个正义的词语来赞扬一个所有人都沉迷其中的令人满意的活动呢？ 你‘放弃’你的社会地位，以获得另一个地位，想必你现在已经拥有了它； 所以你的牺牲给你带来了想要的回报。 有些人希望在天堂得到他们的奖赏，有些人想在这里和现在。
“This reward has come in the course of events, but consciously I never sought reward when I first joined the movement.”
“这个奖赏是在事件的过程中出现的， 但当我第一次加入运动时，我从未有意识地寻求过奖赏。”
The very joining of a popular or an unpopular movement is its own reward, is it not? One may not consciously join for a reward, but the inward promptings that compel one to join are complex, and without understanding them one can hardly say that one has not sought reward. Surely, what is important is to understand this urge to renounce, to sacrifice, is it not? Why do we want to give up? To answer that, must we not first find out why we are attached? It is only when we are attached that we talk about detachment; there would be no struggle to be detached if there were no attachment. There would be no renunciation if there were no possession. We possess, and then renounce in order to possess something else. This progressive renunciation is looked upon as being noble and edifying.
加入一个受欢迎的或不受欢迎的运动本身就是它的奖赏，不是吗？ 一个人可能没有意识地加入以获得奖赏， 但是迫使一个人加入的内在语音是复杂的， 如果不理解它们，就很难说他没有寻求奖赏。 当然，重要的是要理解这种放弃、牺牲的冲动，不是吗？ 我们为什么要放弃？ 要回答这个问题，我们难道不能先找出我们为什么依恋吗？ 只有当我们依恋的时候，我们才谈论超脱； 如果没有依恋，就不会有超脱的挣扎。 如果不占据，就不会有放弃。 我们占据，然后为了占据别的东西而放弃。 这种渐进式的放弃，被视为高贵和熏陶。
“Yes, that is so. If there were no possession, of course there would be no need of renunciation.”
“是的，就是那样。 如果不占据，当然就没必要放弃。”
So, renunciation, self-sacrifice, is not a gesture of greatness, to be praised and copied. We possess because without possession we are not. Possessions are many and varied. One who possesses no worldly things may be attached to knowledge, to ideas; another may be attached to virtue, another to experience, another to name and fame, and so on. Without possessions, the “me” is not; the “me” is the possession, the furniture, the virtue, the name. In its fear of not being, the mind is attached to name, to furniture, to value; and it will drop these in order to be at a higher level, the higher being the more gratifying, the more permanent. The fear of uncertainty, of not being, makes for attachment, for possession. When the possession is unsatisfactory or painful, we renounce it for a more pleasurable attachment. The ultimate gratifying possession is the word God, or its substitute, the State.
所以，放弃，自我牺牲，不是一个伟大的、值得赞扬和复制的姿态。 我们占据，因为不占据，我们就什么都不是。 占有物是多种多样的。 一个不占据世俗之物的人，可以依附于知识、理念； 另一个可能依附于美德，另一个依附于体验，另一个依附于名称和名誉，等等。 没有占有物，‘我’就什么都不是； ‘我’就是占有物，是家具、美德、名誉。 对不存在的恐惧，促使头脑去依附于名誉、家具、价值； 它会为了达到更高的层面而放弃这些， 越高，就越令人满意，越是持久。 对无法保证的恐惧，对不存在的恐惧，使人去依附与占据。 当占有物令人不满意或痛苦的时候， 我们放弃它，以获得更愉快的依恋。 终极的、令人满意的占有物，就是‘上帝’这个词，或者它的替代者：‘政府’。
“But it is a natural thing to be afraid of being nothing. You are suggesting, I take it, that one should love to be nothing.”
“但是，对‘什么都不是’的害怕难道不是很自然的事情吗？ 你是在暗示，依照我的理解，一个人应该爱‘什么都不是’。”
As long as you are attempting to become something, as long as you are possessed by something, there will inevitably be conflict, confusion and increasing misery. You may think that you yourself, in your achievement and success, will not be caught in this mounting disintegration; but you cannot escape it, for you are of it. Your activities, your thoughts, the very structure of your existence is based on conflict and confusion, and therefore on the process of disintegration. As long as you are unwilling to be nothing, which in fact you are, you must inevitably breed sorrow and antagonism. The willingness to be nothing is not a matter of renunciation, of enforcement, inner or outer, but of seeing the truth of what is. Seeing the truth of what is brings freedom from the fear of insecurity, the fear which breeds attachment and leads to the illusion of detachment, renunciation. The love of what is is the beginning of wisdom. Love alone shares, it alone can commune; but renunciation and sell-sacrifice are the ways of isolation and illusion.
只要你试图成为某个人物， 只要你占据某个东西， 就不可避免地会产生冲突、困惑和不断增长的痛苦。 你可能会认为你自己， 在你的获取和成功中，不会陷入这种日益加剧的崩塌之中； 但你无法逃避它，因为你属于它。 你的活动、你的思想、你存在的骨架，都是基于冲突和困惑， 因此，处于崩塌的状态之中。 只要你不愿意‘什么都不是’，事实上，你什么都不是， 你必然会滋养悲伤和敌对。 ‘什么都不是’的意愿，不是放弃的问题，不是内在或外在的强制， 而是看到现在的真实情况。 看到真实，解散了不安的恐惧， 这个恐惧滋生出依恋，并导向超脱、放弃的幻觉。 对现实的爱，是智慧的开端。 唯有爱分享，唯有它能共融； 但放弃和出售牺牲，是隔绝和幻想的方式。