"I AM MARRIED and have children," she said, "but I seem to have lost all love. I am slowly drying up. Although I engage in social activities, they are a kind of pastime, and I see their futility. Nothing seems to interest me deeply and fully. I recently took a long holiday from my family routine and social activities, and I tried to paint; but my spirit was not in it. I feel utterly dead, uncreative, depressed and deeply discontented. I am still young, but the future seems to be complete blackness. I have thought of suicide, but somehow I see the utter stupidity of it, I am getting more and more confused, and my discontent seems to have no end."
“我已婚，有几个孩子，”她说， “但我似乎已经失去了所有的爱。我正在慢慢干涸。 虽然我从事社交活动， 但它们是一种消遣，我看到它们的徒劳。 似乎没有什么能让我深入而完全地感兴趣。 我最近脱离了家庭日常和社交活动，度过了一个长假， 我试图画画；却提不起兴趣。 我感到极大地麻木、没有创造性、压抑和深深的不满。 我还年轻，但未来似乎完全是黑暗的。 我想过自杀，但不知何故，我看到了它极度地愚蠢， 我越来越困惑，我的不满似乎没有尽头。”
What are you confused about? Is your problem that of relationship? "No, it is not. I have been through that, and have come out of it not too bruised; but I am confused and nothing seems to satisfy me."
你对什么感到困惑？是关系出了问题吗？ “不，不是。 我经历过这种情况，从中走了出来，并没有受到太大的伤害。 但我感到困惑，似乎没有什么能满足我。”
Have you a definite problem, or are you merely discontented generally? There must be deep down some anxiety, some fear, and probably you are not aware of it. Do you want to know what it is?
你有没有一个明确的问题，或者你仅仅是通常的不满？ 内心深处必定有某些焦虑，某些恐惧，也许你没有意识到这一点。 你是想知道它是什么吗？
"Yes, that is why I have come to you. I really cannot go on the way I am. Nothing seems to be of any importance, and I get quite ill periodically."
“是的，那就是我来找你的原因。 我真的不能这样过下去了。 似乎没有什么是重要的，有时，我会感到非常地不安。”
Your illness may be an escape from yourself, from your circumstances. "I am pretty sure it is. But what am I to do? I am really quite desperate. Before I leave I must find a way out of all this."
你的不安可能是在逃避你自己，逃避你的环境。 “确实是。那我该怎么办？我真的很绝望。 在我离开之前，我必须找到一条摆脱这一切的方法。”
Is the conflict between two actualities, or between the actual and the fictitious? Is your discontent mere dissatisfaction, which is easily gratified, or is it a causeless misery? Dissatisfaction soon finds a particular channel through which it is gratified; dissatisfaction is quickly canalized, but discontent cannot be assuaged by thought. Does this so-called discontent arise from not finding satisfaction? If you found satisfaction, would your discontent disappear? Is it that you are really seeking some kind of permanent gratification ?
是两个现实之间的冲突，还是实际与虚构之间的冲突？ 你的不满仅仅是不满意吗？ 这种不满意是很容易得到满足的，还是，一种无缘无故的痛苦？ 不满意很快就会找到一个特定的渠道，通过这个渠道，就能称心如意； 不满意很快就会被消化，但不满不能用思想来缓解。 这种所谓的不满是否源于没有找到满意？ 如果你找到了满意，你的不满会消失吗？ 你是否真的在寻求某种永久的满意？
"No, it is not that. I am really not seeking any kind of gratification - at least I do not think I am. All I know is that I am in confusion and conflict, and I cannot seem to find a way out of it."
“不，不是那样的。我真的不寻求任何种类的满意 —— 至少我不认为我是。我所知道的是， 我处于困惑与冲突之中，我似乎找不到摆脱它的方法。”
When you say you are in conflict, it must be in relation to something: in relation to your husband, to your children, to your activities. If, as you say, your conflict is not with any of these, then it can only be between what you are and what you want to be, between the actual and the ideal, between what is and the myth of what should be. You have an idea of what you should be, and perhaps the conflict and confusion arise from the desire to fit into this self-projected pattern. You are struggling to be something which you are not. Is that it?
当你说你处于冲突中时，它必定与某种事物相关： 与你的丈夫、你的孩子、与你的活动有关。 如果，正如你所说，你的冲突没有与这些中的任何一个相关， 那么，它只能是你现在的样子和你想成为的样子之间， 在现实和理想之间，在是什么和应该是什么的想象之间。 你有一个关于‘自己应该成为怎样的人’的观念， 也许冲突与困惑源于你想要适应这种自我投射出的愿望。 你正在努力成为你不是的人物。是那样吗？
"I am beginning to see where I am confused. I think what you say is true."
惑之处。我认为你说的是对的。”
The conflict is between the actual and the myth, between that which you are and that which you would like to be. The pattern of the myth has been cultivated from childhood and has progressively widened and deepened, growing in contrast to the actual, and being constantly modified by circumstances. This myth, like all ideals, goals, Utopias, is in contradiction to what is the implicit, the actual; so the myth is an escape from that which you are. This escape inevitably creates the barren conflict of the opposites; and all conflict, inward or outward, is vain, futile, stupid, creating confusion and antagonism.
冲突在现实与想象之间， 在你的现状和你想成为的样子之间。 想象的模式从小就被培养，并逐渐拓宽与深化， 与现实形成了鲜明的对比，正在持续地随环境而修改。 这个想象，就像所有的理想、目标、乌托邦一样， 与隐含的、真实的现在相左； 所以想象即是你对现状的逃避。 这种逃避不可避免地制造出对立面之间的荒芜的冲突。 而所有的冲突，无论是内在的还是外在的，都是虚幻的、徒劳的、愚蠢的， 制造着困惑与敌对。
So, if I may say so, your confusion arises from the conflict between what you are and the myth of what you should be. The myth, the ideal, is unreal; it is a self-projected escape, it has no actuality. The actual is what you are. What you are is much more important than what you should be. You can understand what is, but you cannot understand what should be. There is no understanding of an illusion, there is only understanding of the way it comes into being. The myth, the fictitious, the ideal, has no validity; it is a result, an end, and what is important is to understand the process through which it has come into being.
所以，如果我可以这么说的话， 你的困惑源于‘你本来的样子’和你想象出的‘我应该是这个样子’之间的冲突。 想象、理想，是不真实的；它是一种自我投射的逃避，它没有真实性。 真实就是你现在的样子。你本来的样子，比你应该是的样子更为重要。 你可以理解现状，但你无法理解应该是的样子。 幻觉无法被理解， 只能理解它是怎么形成的。 想象、虚构、理想，无法验证； 它是一个结果，一个目的， 而重要的是，理解它成形的过程。
To understand that which you are, whether pleasant or unpleasant, the myth, the ideal, the self-projected future state, must entirely cease. Then only can you tackle what is. To understand what is, there must be freedom from all distraction. Distraction is the condemnation or justification of what is. Distraction is comparison; it is resistance or discipline against the actual. Distraction is the very effort or compulsion to understand. All distractions are a hindrance to the swift pursuit of what is. What is is not static; it is in constant movement, and to follow it the mind must not be tethered to any belief, to any hope of success or fear of failure. Only in passive yet alert awareness can that which is unfold. This unfoldment is not of time.
要理解你本人，无论它是令人愉快的还是不愉快的， 想象、理想、自我投射的未来场景，必须完全消逝。 那么只有这样，你才能触碰到现状。 要理解现状，必须有不受任何干扰的自由。 干扰是对事物的谴责或辩护。 干扰是比较；它是对真实的抵抗或训斥。 干扰是想要理解的努力或冲动。 所有的干扰，都阻碍了迅捷地追随现状。 现状并非是静态的；它处于不断的移动中， 要跟随它，头脑绝不能被任何信念、任何成功的希望或失败的恐惧所缠缚。 只有在被动而警觉的感知下，那才能展露。这个展露与时间无关。