SHE WAS MARRIED, but had no children. In the worldly way, she said, she was happy; money was no problem, and there were cars, good hotels and wide travel. Her husband was a successful business man whose chief interest was to adorn his wife, to see that she was comfortable and had everything she desired. They were both quite young and friendly. She was interested in science and art, and had dabbled in religion; but now, she said, the things of the spirit were pushing everything else aside. She was familiar with the teachings of the various religions; but being dissatisfied with their organized efficiency, their rituals and dogmas, she wanted seriously to go in search of real things. She was intensely discontented, and had been to teachers in different parts of the world; but nothing had given her lasting satisfaction. Her discontent, she said, did not arise from her having had no children; she had gone into all that pretty thoroughly. Nor was the discontent caused by any social frustrations. She had spent some time with one of the prominent analysts, but there was still this inward ache and emptiness.

她已婚，但没有孩子。 她说，从世俗的角度来看，她是幸福的。 钱没有问题，而且有车、不错的酒店和广泛的旅行。 她的丈夫是一个成功的商人，他主要的兴趣是打扮他的妻子， 看到她感到舒适，给她想要的一切。 他们都相当年轻和友好。 她对科学和艺术感兴趣，并涉足宗教。 但现在，她说，灵性的东西把其他的一切都推到了一边。 她熟悉各种宗教教义。 但是由于对他们的组织效率、仪式和教条不满， 她想认真地去寻找真实的东西。 她非常不满，去世界各地找老师。 但没有什么能给她带来持久的满足。 她说，她的不满不是因为她没有孩子。 她已经非常彻底地研究了这一切。 这种不满也不是由任何社会的挫折造成的。 她曾与一位著名的分析师相处了一段时间， 但内心仍然感到痛苦和空虚。

To seek fulfilment is to invite frustration. There is no fulfilment of the self, but only the strengthening of the self through possessing what it craves for. Possession, at whatever level, makes the self feel potent, rich, active, and this sensation is called fulfilment; but as with all sensations, it soon fades, to be replaced by yet another gratification. We are all familiar with this process of replacement or substitution, and it is a game with which most of us are content. There are some, however, who desire a more enduring gratification, one that will last for the whole of one’s life; and having found it, they hope never to be disturbed again. But there is a constant, unconscious fear of disturbance, and subtle forms of resistance are cultivated behind which the mind takes shelter; and so the fear of death is inevitable. Fulfilment and the fear of death are the two sides of one process: the strengthening of the self. After all, fulfilment is complete identification with something – with children, with property, with ideas. Children and property are rather risky, but ideas offer greater safety and security. Words, which are ideas and memories, with their sensations, become important; and fulfilment or completeness then becomes the word.

寻求满足，就是招致挫折。 没有自我的满足， 通过占有它所渴望的东西，只能使自我强化。 占有，无论在什么层面上， 都会使自我感到强大、丰富、活跃，这种感觉被称之为满足； 但就像所有的感觉一样，它很快就会消失，取而代之的是另一种满足。 我们都熟悉这种更换或替代过程， 它是我们大多数人都满意的游戏。 然而，有些人渴望一种更持久的满足， 一种将持续一生的满足； 找到它，他们希望再也不被打扰了。 但是，有一种持续的、无意识的、害怕被打扰的恐惧， 培养出了微妙的抵抗形式，头脑在这种抵抗背后避难。 因此，对死亡的恐惧是不可避免的。 满足和对死亡的恐惧 是自我强化过程的两个侧面。 毕竟，满足就是完全认同某个东西 —— 孩子、财产、观念。 孩子和财产有很大的风险，但观念提供了更大的安全和保障。 作为观念和记忆的文字、以及它带来的感觉，变得重要； 然后，满足或完美，就变成了这些文字。

There is no self-fulfilment, but only self-perpetuation, with its ever-increasing conflicts, antagonisms and miseries. To seek lasting gratification at any level of our being is to bring about confusion and sorrow; for gratification can never be permanent. You may remember an experience which was satisfying, but the experience is dead, and only the memory of it remains. This memory has no life in itself; but life is given to it through your inadequate response to the present. You are living on the dead, as most of us do. Ignorance of the ways of the self leads to illusion; and once caught in the net of illusion, it is extremely hard to break through it. It is difficult to recognize an illusion, for, having created it, the mind cannot be aware of it. It must be approached negatively, indirectly. Unless the ways of desire are understood, illusion is inevitable. Understanding comes, not through the exertion of will, but only when the mind is still. The mind cannot be made still, for the maker himself is a product of the mind, of desire. There must be an awareness of this total process, a choiceless awareness; then only is there a possibility of not breeding illusion. Illusion is very gratifying, and hence our attachment to it. Illusion may bring pain, but this very pain exposes our incompleteness and drives us to be wholly identified with the illusion. Thus illusion has great significance in our lives; it helps to cover up what is, not externally but inwardly. This disregard of the inward what is leads to wrong interpretation of what is outwardly, which brings about destruction and misery. The covering up of what is is prompted by fear. Fear can never be overcome by an act of will, for will is the outcome of resistance. Only through passive yet alert awareness is there freedom from fear.

没有自我满足， 只有自我延续，伴生出日益增加的冲突、对抗与苦难。 在我们存在的任何层面上，寻求持久的满足， 就是邀请困惑与悲伤； 因为，满足永远不可能永久。 你可能记得一次令人满意的经历， 但这个经历已经死了，只剩下对它的记忆。 这种记忆本身没有生命； 但是由于你对当下的不充分回应，赋予了它生命。 你生活在死亡中，就像我们大多数人一样。 对自我方式的无知，导致幻觉； 而一旦陷入幻觉之网，就极难突破。 辨认一种幻觉是很困难的， 因为，既然创造了它，头脑就无法意识到它。 必须被动地、间接地着手这个问题。 除非理解欲望的本质，否则幻觉是不可避免的。 理解不是通过意志的作用而到来的，而是在头脑安静的时候。 头脑不能被安静，因为训斥者就是头脑的产物、欲望的产物。 必须有一个对整个过程的意识，一种无拣择的意识； 那么只有这样，才可能不滋生幻觉。 幻觉是非常令人满意的，因此我们依恋它。 幻觉可能会带来痛苦，而这种痛苦暴露了我们的不完整， 并鞭策我们完全认同幻觉。 因此，幻觉在我们的生活中，具有重大意义。 它有助于掩盖现有的东西，不是在外在的，而是在内在的东西。 这种对内在的漠视，导致对外在的错误解释， 从而带来毁灭与痛苦。 掩盖事实的动机是恐惧。 恐惧永远不能被意志的行为所克服，因为意志是抵抗的产物。 只有通过被动而警觉的意识，才有免于恐惧的自由。