对生活的评注 3-14

IT WAS A magnificent old tamarind tree, full of fruit, and with tender new leaves. Growing by a deep river, it was well-watered, and it gave just the right amount of shade for animals and men. There was always some kind of bustle and noise going on under it, loud talking, or a calf calling for its mother. It was beautifully proportioned and against the blue sky its shape was splendid. It had ageless vitality. It must have witnessed many things as through countless summers it watched the river and the goings-on along its banks. It was an interesting river, wide and holy, and pilgrims came from all parts of the country to bathe in its sacred waters. There were boats on it, moving silently, with dark, square sails. When the moon rose full and almost red, making a silvery path on the dancing waters, there would be rejoicing in the neighboring village, and in the village across the river. On holy days the villagers came down to the water’s edge, singing joyous, lilting songs. Bringing their food, with much chattering and laughter, they would bathe in the river; then they would put a garland at the foot of the great tree and red and yellow ashes around its trunk, for it too was sacred, as all trees are. When at last the chatter and shouting had ceased and everyone had gone home, a lamp or two would remain burning, left by some pious villager; these lamps consisted of a homemade wick in a little terracotta saucer of oil which the villager could ill afford. Then the tree was supreme; all things were of it: the earth, the river, the people and the stars. presently it would withdraw into itself, to slumber till touched by the first rays of the morning sun.

那是一棵巨大的老罗望子树，果实累累，还有嫩嫩的新叶。它生长在一条很深的河流边，水源充足，为动物和人类提供了恰到好处的阴影。它下面总是有某种喧哗和噪音，大声的说话，或者小牛对它母亲的叫唤。它体态优美，在蓝天的映衬下，它的形状非常壮观。它具有永恒的生命力。它一定目睹了许多事情，毕竟在历经的无数个的夏天中，它总是在观察河流和河岸上的时光。它是一条有趣的河流，宽阔而神圣，朝圣者从全国各地赶来，沐浴在神圣的水域中。上面有小船，静静地移动着，有暗淡的方形帆。当月亮升起，它几乎是红色的，在跳动的水面上走出一条银色的痕迹，邻近的村庄和对岸的村庄会欢欣鼓舞。在神圣的日子里，村民们来到水边，唱着欢乐的、轻快的歌。带上他们的食物，伴随着许多聊天和笑语，他们会在河里洗澡；然后他们会在大树脚下放一个花环，在树干周围放洒上红色和黄色的香灰，因为它也是神圣的，就像所有的树一样。当喋喋不休和喊叫声终于停下，每个人都回家时，一两盏灯仍然在燃烧，这是一些虔诚的村民们留下的。灯由一根自制的灯芯，陶土制成的碟子，以及里面的灯油组成，而村民们几乎穷得买不起油。那么，这棵树是至高无上的。所有的东西都是：地球、河流、人们和星星。现在，它会隐退到自己的里面，以便于睡觉，直到被清晨的第一缕阳光所触摸。

Often they would bring a dead body to the edge of the river. Sweeping the ground close to the water, they would first put down heavy logs as a foundation for the pyre, and then build it up with lighter wood; and on the top they would place the body, covered with a new white cloth. The nearest relative would then put a burning torch to the pyre, and huge flames would leap up in the darkness, lighting the water and the silent faces of the mourners and friends who sat around the fire. The tree would gather some of the light, and give its peace to the dancing flames. It took several hours for the body to be consumed but they would all sit around till there was nothing left except bright embers and little tongues of flame. In the midst of this enormous silence, a baby would suddenly begin to cry, and a new day would have begun.

他们经常会把尸体带到河边。他们清扫靠近水边的地方，首先放下沉重的原木作为柴堆的基础，然后用较轻的木材搭建；在顶部，他们将身体放在上面，用一块新的白布覆盖。然后，最亲的亲属会在火堆上放上一把燃烧的火炬，巨大的火焰会在黑暗中跳跃，照亮水和坐在火堆周围的哀悼者和朋友们的沉重的面孔。这棵树会收集一些光，并为跳舞的火焰带来和平。尸体花了几个小时才被烧掉，但他们都会坐在那里，直到什么都没有剩下，除了明亮的余烬和小火舌之外。在这种巨大的寂静中，一个婴儿会突然开始哭泣，新的一天开始了。

He had been a fairly well-known man. He lay dying in the small house behind the wall, and the little garden, once cared for, was now neglected. He was surrounded by his wife and children, and by other near relatives. It might be some months, or even longer, before he passed away, but they were all around him, and the room was heavy with grief. As I came in he asked them all to go away, and they reluctantly left, except a little boy who was playing with some toys on the floor. When they had gone out, he waved me to a chair and we sat for some time without saying a word, while the noises of the household and the street crowded into the room.

他是一个很有名望的人。他快要死了，躺在小房间的墙后，曾经被呵护的小花园，现在被忽视了。他被他的妻子和孩子以及其他近亲包围着。他离去世可能要几个月，甚至更长的时间，但他们都在他身边，房间里充满了悲伤。当我进来时，他要求他们都走开，他们不情愿地离开了，除了一个小男孩，他正在地板上玩一些玩具。当他们出去时，他挥手让我坐在椅子上，我们坐了一会儿，没有说话，而家中和街道里的噪音挤进了房间。

He spoke with difficulty. “You know, I have thought a great deal for a number of years about living and even more about dying, for I have had a protracted illness. Death seems such a strange thing. I have read various books dealing with this problem, but they were all rather superficial.”

他说话很困难。“你知道，多年来，我一直在思考生活，甚至死亡，因为我患有长期的疾病。死亡似乎是一件奇怪的事情。我读过各种关于这个问题的书，但它们都相当地肤浅。”

Aren’t all conclusions superficial? “I am not so sure. If one could arrive at certain conclusions that were deeply satisfying, they would have some significance. What’s wrong with arriving at conclusions, so long as they are satisfying?”

所有结论都是肤浅的，难道不是吗？ “我不太确定。如果人能够得出某些令人深感满意的结论，它们将具有一定的意义。只要他们令人满意，得出结论有什么错呢？”

There’s nothing wrong with it, but doesn’t it trace a deceptive horizon? The mind has the power to create every form of illusion, and to be caught in it seems so unnecessary and immature. “I have lived a fairly rich life, and have followed what I thought to be my duty; but of course I am human. Anyway, that life is all over now, and here I am a useless thing; but fortunately my mind has not yet been affected. I have read much, and I am still as eager as ever to know what happens after death. Do I continue, or is there nothing left when the body dies?”

它没有错，但它不是在描摹一条虚幻的地平线吗？头脑有能力创造各种形式的幻觉，而陷入其中，似乎如此的不必要和不成熟。 “我过着相当富裕的生活，并遵循了我所认为的职责；但我当然是人。不管怎样，那种生活现在都结束了，而在这里，我是一个没用的东西；但幸运的是，我的头脑还没有受到影响。我读了很多书，我仍然一如既往地渴望，想知道死后会发生什么。我会继续存在，还是当身体死了，就什么都不剩？

Sir, if one may ask, why are you so concerned to know what happens after death?

先生，如果有人可以问，你为什么如此关心死后会发生什么？

“Doesn’t everyone want to know?”

“难道不是每个人都想知道吗？”

Probably they do; but if we don’t know what living is, can we ever know what death is? Living and dying may be the same thing, and the fact that we have separated them may be the source of great sorrow. “I am aware of what you have said about all this in your talks, but still I want to know. Won’t you please tell me what happens after death? I won’t repeat it to anyone.”

也许他们是的；但是，如果我们不知道生活是什么，我们能知道死亡是什么吗？生活和死亡可能是一回事，而我们把它们划分开，这个事实，可能导致了巨大的悲伤。 “我意识到你在讲话中对这一切说了些什么，但我仍然想知道。难道你不能告诉我死后会发生什么吗？我不会对任何人重复它。”

Why are you struggling so hard to know? Why don’t you allow the whole ocean of life and death to be, without poking a finger into it?

你为什么如此努力地挣扎着想知道？你为什么不让整个生命和死亡的海洋存在，而不用一根手指去戳它？

“I don’t want to die,” he said, his hand holding my wrist. “I have always been afraid of death; and though I have tried to console myself with rationalizations and beliefs, they have only acted as a thin veneer over this deep agony of fear. All my reading about death has been an effort to escape from this fear, to find a way out of it and it is for the same reason that I am begging to know now.”

“我不想死，” 他说，他的手握着我的手腕。 “我一直害怕死亡；虽然我试图用理性和信念来安慰自己，但它们对这种深度恐惧的痛苦所起的作用，如同薄薄的外衣。我所有关于死亡的阅读都是为了逃避这种恐惧，找到摆脱它的方法，我现在乞求知道，也是出于这个原因。”

Will any escape free the mind from fear? Does not the very act of escaping breed fear? “But you can tell me, and what you say will be true. This truth will liberate me...”

任何的逃避，会使头脑从恐惧中解脱吗？逃避恐惧的行为本身，难道没有滋生恐惧吗？ “但你可以告诉我，你说的会是真的。这个真理将会解放我……”

We sat silently for a while. presently he spoke again. “That silence was more healing than all my anxious questioning. I wish I could remain in it and quietly pass away, but my mind won’t let me. My mind has become the hunter as well as the hunted; I am tortured. I have acute physical pain, but it’s nothing compared to what’s going on in my mind. Is there an identified continuity after death? This me which has enjoyed, suffered, known – will it continue?”

我们静静地坐了一会儿。现在他又开口了。“这种沉默比我所有焦虑的质疑都更能治愈我。我希望我能留在里面，悄悄地死去，但我的头脑不会放过我。我的头脑变成了猎人和猎物；我备受折磨。我的身体有剧烈的疼痛，但与我头脑中发生的事情相比，它算不了什么。死后是否有确凿的延续性？这个享受过、受苦过、知道过的我 —— 它会继续下去吗？”

What is this ‘me’ that your mind clings to, and that you want to be continued? please don’t answer, but quietly listen, will you? The ‘me’ exists only through identification with property, with a name, with the family, with failures and successes, with all the things you have been and want to be. You are that with which you have identified yourself; you are made up of all that, and without it, you are not. It is this identification with people, property and ideas, that you want to be continued, even beyond death; and is it a living thing? Or is it just a mass of contradictory desires, pursuits, fulfilments and frustrations with sorrow outweighing joy?

你头脑所执着的这个‘我’是什么，你想让它继续下去？请不要回答，而是静下来听，好吗？ ‘我’之所以存在，唯一的根源是通过认同 —— 认同于财产、名字、家庭、失败和成功 —— 认同于你曾经拥有的和想要获取的所有东西。你是你所认同的那堆东西；你由这一切组成，没有它，你什么都没有。这种与人、与财产、与思想的认同，是你想继续下去的东西吗，甚至穿越死亡？它是一个活物吗？还是它仅仅是一堆矛盾的欲望、追求、满足和挫折，以及比快乐更沉重的悲伤？

“It may be what you suggest, but it’s better than not knowing anything at all.”

“这可能是你的建议，但总比什么都不知道要好。”

Better the known than the unknown, is that it? But the known is so small, so petty, so confining. The known is sorrow, and yet you crave for its continuance. “Think of me, be compassionate, don’t be so unyielding. If only I knew, I could die happily.”

知道比不知道更好，是那样吗？但知道的知识，是如此的渺小，如此琐碎，如此的有限。知道的，是悲伤，而你却依然渴望它的延续。 “想想我，可怜我，不要那么不屈不挠。要是我知道，我就能幸福地死去。”

Sir, don’t struggle so hard to know. When all effort to know ceases, then there is something which the mind has not put together. The unknown is greater than the known; the known is but as a barque on the ocean of the unknown. Let all things go and be.

先生，不要那么艰难地挣扎着去知道。当想要知道的努力，全部都消逝时，那么，就有某种并非头脑拼凑起来的东西。未知比已知更广大；已知的知识，不过是一只漂浮在未知的大海上的帆船。让一切东西去吧。

His wife came in just then to give him something to drink, and the child got up and ran out of the room without looking at us. He told his wife to close the door as she went out and not to let the boy come in again. “I am not worried about my family; their future is cared for. It’s with my own future that I am concerned. I know in my heart that what you say is true, but my mind is like a galloping horse without a rider. Will you help me, or am I beyond all help?”

就在这时，他的妻子进来给他喝点东西，孩子起身跑出房间，没有看我们。他告诉妻子出去时关上门，不要让男孩再进来。 “我不担心我的家人；他们的未来得到了照看。我担心的是我自己的未来。我心里知道你说的没错，但我的头脑就像一匹没有骑手的奔马。你会帮助我，还是我已经无能为力？”

Truth is a strange thing; the more you pursue it, the more it will elude you. You cannot capture it by any means, however subtle and cunning; you cannot hold it in the net of your thought. Do realize this, and let everything go. On the journey of life and death, you must walk alone; on this journey there can be no taking of comfort in knowledge, in experience, in memories. The mind must be purged of all the things it has gathered in its urge to be secure; its gods and virtues must be given back to the society that bred them. There must be complete, uncontaminated aloneness.

真理是一个奇怪的家伙；你越是追求它，它就越逃避你。你不能以任何方式捕捉它，无论有多么微妙和狡猾；你不能把它放进你思想的网里。一定要意识到这一点，让一切离去。在生命和死亡的旅途中，你必须独立行走；在这段旅程中，不能在知识、体验、记忆中得到安慰。头脑在渴求安全时所收集的一切东西，必须被清除；它的神灵和美德必须归还给养育它们的社会。必须有完全的、未受污染的自在。