对生活的评注 1-56

HA HAD BROUGHT along his wife, for he said that it was their mutual problem. She had bright eyes and was small, sprightly, and rather disturbed. They were simple, friendly people; he spoke English fairly well, and she could just manage to understand it and ask simple questions. When it got a little difficult, she would turn to her husband and he would explain in their own language. He said that they had been married for over twenty-five years, and had several children; and that their problem was not the children, but the struggle between themselves. He explained that he had a job which gave him a modest income, and went on to say how difficult it was to live peacefully in this world, especially when you are married; he wasn’t grumbling, he added, but there it was. He had been everything that a husband should be, at least he hoped so, but it was not always easy.

带上了他的妻子，因为他说这是他们共同的问题。她有一双明亮的眼睛，身材小巧、活泼，相当地不安。他们是简单、友好的人；他的英语说得相当好，她可以设法理解它并提出简单的问题。当事情变得有点困难时，她会转向她的丈夫，他会用他们自己的语言解释。他说，他们已经结婚二十五年多了，有几个孩子。他们的问题不在于孩子，而在于他们之间的挣扎。他解释道，他有一份收入微薄的工作，并继续说，要在这个世界上和平地生活，是多么困难，特别是当你结婚后；他不是在抱怨，他补充道，但事实就是如此。他做到了丈夫应该做的一切，至少他希望如此，但这并不总是那么容易。

It was difficult for them to come to the point, and they talked for some time about various things: the education of their children, the marriage of their daughters, the waste of money on ceremonies, a recent death in the family, and so on. They felt at ease and unhurried, for it was good to talk to someone who would listen and who perhaps might understand.

他们能说到这一点上，很不容易，他们谈论了一段时间的各种事情：孩子的教育，女儿的婚姻，排场上浪费的金钱，最近家庭中的死亡等等。他们感到自在，不紧不慢，因为与一个愿意倾听并可能理解的人交谈是件好事。

Who cares to listen to the troubles of another? We have so many problems of our own that we have no time for those of others. To make another listen you have to pay either in coin, in prayer, or in belief. The professional will listen, it is his job, but in that there is no lasting release. We want to unburden ourselves freely, spontaneously, without any regrets afterwards. The purification of confusion does not depend on the one who listens, but on him who desires to open his heart. To open one’s heart is important, and it will find someone, a beggar perhaps, to whom it can pour itself out. Introspective talk can never open the heart; it is enclosing, depressing and utterly useless. To be open is to listen, not only to yourself, but to every influence, to every movement about you. It may or may not be possible to do something tangibly about what you hear, but the very fact of being open brings about its own action. Such hearing purifies your own heart, cleansing it of the things of the mind. Hearing with the mind is gossip, and in it there is no release either for you or for the other; it is merely a continuation of pain, which is stupidity.

谁在乎听别人的烦恼呢？我们自己有太多的问题，我们没时间处理别人的问题。要让另一个人听，你必须用硬币、祈祷或信仰来支付。专业人士会倾听，这是他的工作，但其中没有持久的释放。我们希望自由地、自发地卸下自己的负担，事后没有任何遗憾。困惑的净化并不取决于倾听的人，而是取决于渴望敞开心扉的人。打开一个人的心扉很重要，它会找到一个人，也许是一个乞丐，它可以把自己倾倒在他身上。内省的谈话永远不能打开心扉；它是封闭的、令人沮丧的、完全无用的。敞开就是倾听，不仅要倾听你自己，还要倾听每一个影响，倾听关于你的每一个动作。对你所听到的，也许可以明确地做一些事情，也许不可能做，但这种敞开的事实本身，就带来了它本身的行动。这样的倾听净化了你自己的心灵，清洗头脑里的东西。用头脑听，是闲聊，其中，无论是你还是对方，都没有释放；它只不过是痛苦的延续，是愚蠢的。

Unhurriedly they were coming to the point. “We have come to talk about our problem. We are jealous – I am not but she is. Though she used not to be as openly jealous as she is now, there has always been a whisper of it. I don’t think I have ever given her any reason to be jealous, but she finds a reason.”

不紧不慢地，他们来到了正题。 “我们来谈论我们的问题。我们嫉妒 —— 不是我，而是她。虽然她过去不像现在这样公开地嫉妒，但总有一丝低语。我不认为我给过她任何嫉妒的理由，但她找到了一个理由。”

Do you think there is any reason to be jealous? Is there a cause for jealousy? And will jealousy disappear when the cause is known? Have you not noticed that even when you know the cause, jealousy continues? Do not let us look for the reason, but let us understand jealousy itself. As you say, one might pick up almost anything to be envious about; envy is the thing to understand, and not what it is about.

你认为有任何嫉妒的理由吗？嫉妒的原因在哪里？知道了这个原因，嫉妒就会消失吗？你有没有注意到，即使你知道原因，嫉妒仍然还在？让我们不寻找原因，而是来理解嫉妒本身。正如你所说，一个人可能会拾取几乎任何一件东西，而升起嫉妒；要理解的是嫉妒本身，而不是与之相关的东西。

“Jealousy has been with me for a long time. I didn’t know my husband very well when we married, and you know how it all happens; jealousy gradually crept in, like smoke in the kitchen.”

“嫉妒已经伴随我很长一段时间了。当我们结婚时，我不太了解我的丈夫，你知道这一切是如何发生的；嫉妒渐渐悄地袭来，就像厨房里的烟一样。”

Jealousy is one of the ways of holding the man or the woman, is it not? The more we are jealous, the greater the feeling of possession. To possess something makes us happy; to call something, even a dog, exclusively our own makes us feel warm and comfortable. To be exclusive in our possession gives assurance and certainty to ourselves. To own something makes us important; it is this importance we cling to. To think that we own, not a pencil or a house, but a human being, makes us feel strong and strangely content. Envy is not because of the other, but because of the worth, the importance of ourselves.

嫉妒是拥抱男人或女人的方式之一，它不是吗？我们越是嫉妒，拥有感就越大。拥有某个东西使我们快乐；声明某个东西 —— 即便它是一条狗 —— 是我们独自占据的使我们感到温暖和舒服。独占我们所拥有的东西，给我们自己带来保障和确定性。拥有某个东西使我们变得重要；它的重要性在于我们对它的依赖程度。考虑到我们所拥有的东西不是一支铅笔或一所房子，而是一个人类，使我们产生强烈和奇怪的满足感。嫉妒不是因为别人，而是因为其中的价值，我们自己的重要性。

“But I am not important, I am nobody; my husband is all that I have. Even my children don’t count.” We all have only one thing to which we cling, though it takes different forms. You cling to your husband, others to their children, and yet others to some belief; but the intention is the same. Without the object to which we cling we feel so hopelessly lost, do we not? We are afraid to feel all alone. This fear is jealousy, hate, pain. There is not much difference between envy and hate.

“但我不重要，我什么都不是。我的丈夫是我所拥有的一切。连我的孩子都不算数。” 我们都唯有一个东西，我们紧紧地抓住它，尽管它有不同的形式。你紧紧抓住你的丈夫，别人紧紧抓住他们的孩子们，还有一些人紧紧抓住某种信仰。但这种意图是一样的。我们紧紧抓住的对象不见了，我们就会感到绝望、迷茫，我们不是吗？我们对这种孤独感到恐惧。这种恐惧就是嫉妒、仇恨、痛苦。在嫉妒与仇恨之间，没有太大的区别。

“But we love each other.”

“但我们彼此相爱。”

Then how can you be jealous? We do not love, and that is the unfortunate part of it. You are using your husband, as he is using you, to be happy, to have a companion, not to feel alone; you may not possess much, but at least you have someone to be with. This mutual need and use we call love. “But this is dreadful.”

那你怎么能嫉妒呢？我们不爱，那就是其中的不幸。你是在利用你的丈夫，就像他利用你一样 —— 感到快乐，有一个同伴，而不感到寂寞；你所拥有的可能不多，但至少有一个人可以赔在你身边。这种相互需要和利用，我们称之为‘爱’。 “但这太可怕了。”

It is not dreadful, only we never look at it. We call it dreadful, give it a name and quickly look away – which is what you are doing.

它并不可怕，只是我们从不看它。我们说它是可怕的，给它起一个名字，然后迅速地转移视线 —— 这就是你正在做的事情。

“I know, but I don’t want to look. I want to carry on as I am, even though it means being jealous, because I cannot see anything else in life.”

“我知道，但我不想看。我想继续保持原样，即使它意味着嫉妒，因为，在生活中，我看不到其他任何的东西。”

If you saw something else you would no longer be jealous of your husband, would you? But you would cling to the other thing as now you are clinging to your husband, so you would be jealous of that too. You want to find a substitute for your husband, and not freedom from jealousy. We are all like that: before we give up one thing, we want to be very sure of another. When you are completely uncertain, then only is there no place for envy. There is envy when there is certainty, when you feel that you have something. Exclusiveness is this feeling of certainty; to own is to be envious. Ownership breeds hatred. We really hate what we possess, which is shown in jealousy. Where there is possession there can never be love; to possess is to destroy love.

如果你看到了其他的东西，你就不会再嫉妒你的丈夫了，对吧？但是你会紧紧抓住另一个东西，就像现在你紧紧抓住你的丈夫一样，所以，你会对另一个东西产生嫉妒。你想寻找你丈夫的替代品，而不是摆脱嫉妒的自由。我们都喜欢那样：在我们放弃一个东西之前，我们要确保另一个东西。当你完全地不确定，唯有如此，嫉妒才没有立足之地。当出现了确定，当你感觉自己拥有某个东西时，就有了嫉妒。排他性是这种确定的感觉；拥有就是嫉妒。占据滋生仇恨。我们真正地憎恨我们所占有的东西，这就是嫉妒的指示灯。哪里有占有，哪里就永远不可能有爱；去占据，就是去毁灭爱。