THE PATH WENT by a farm and climbed a hill overlooking the various buildings, the cows with their calves, the chickens, the horses, and many farm machines. It was a pleasant path, wandering through the woods, and it was often used by deer and other wild animals who left their footprints here and there in the soft earth. When it was very still, the voices from the farm, the laughter and the sound of the radio, would be carried to quite a distance. It was a well-kept farm and there was an air of tidiness about it. Often the voices were raised in anger, followed by the silence of children. There was a song among the trees and the angry voices even broke through this song. Suddenly, a woman came out of the house, banging the door; she went over to the cow-shed and began beating a cow with a stick. The sharp noise of this beating came up the hill.
这条路经过了一个农场，爬上山顶，俯瞰各种建筑， 母牛和她们的小牛仔、鸡、马和许多农场机器。 这是一条愉快的小路，在树林中蜿蜒， 鹿和其他野生动物经常出没其上， 他们在柔软的泥土上到处留下脚印。 当寂静的时候，农场的声响、笑声和收音机的喇叭声， 会传送到很远的地方。 这个农场打理得很好，有一种整洁的氛围。 这些声音经常是由愤怒而出现的，然后是孩子们的沉默。 林间传来了一曲歌声，愤怒的声音甚至刺破了这首歌。 猛然间，一位女士从屋里出来，门砰的一声巨响； 她走到牛棚前，开始拿着棍子打一头牛。 这阵殴打的尖叫声传到了山上。
How easy it is to destroy the thing we love! How quickly a barrier comes between us, a word, a gesture, a smile! Health, mood and desire cast a shadow, and what was bright becomes dull and burdensome. Through usage we wear ourselves out, and that which was sharp and clear becomes wearisome and confused. Through constant friction, hope and frustration, that which was beautiful and simple becomes fearful and expectant. Relationship is complex and difficult, and few can come out of it unscathed. Though we would like it to be static, enduring, continuous, relationship is a movement, a process which must be deeply and fully understood and not made to conform to an inner or outer pattern. Conformity, which is the social structure, loses its weight and authority only when there is love. Love in relationship is a purifying process as it reveals the ways of the self. Without this revelation, relationship has little significance.
摧毁我们所爱的东西是多么地容易！ 我们之间的隔阂来得有多么地迅速：一句话、一个手势、一个微笑！ 健康、心境和欲望投下一个阴影，明朗变成沉闷和烦恼。 通过使用自己，我们把自己搞得疲惫不堪， 那锋利而清明的，变成了令人厌倦和困惑的。 通过不断的摩擦、希望和挫折， 那美丽而简单的，变成了使人恐惧和期盼的。 关系是复杂而困难的，很少有人能毫发无损地从中走出。 虽然我们希望它是静态的、持久的、延续的， 但关系是一个运动，它必须被深刻地、完整地理解， 它不能被改造成某个服从内在或外在模式的东西。 服从的法规，也就是社会框架， 只有当爱出现的时候，才会失去它的重量与权威。 在关系之中，爱是一种净化过程，它揭露自我的方式。 没有这种揭露，关系就没有什么意义。
But how we struggle against this revelation! The struggle takes many forms: dominance or subservience, fear or hope, jealousy or acceptance, and so on and on. The difficulty is that we do not love; and if we do love we want it to function in a particular way, we do not give it freedom. We love with our minds and not with our hearts. Mind can modify itself, but love cannot. Mind can make itself invulnerable, but love cannot; mind can always withdraw, be exclusive, become personal or impersonal. Love is not to be compared and hedged about. Our difficulty lies in that which we call love, which is really of the mind. We fill our hearts with the things of the mind and so keep our hearts ever empty and expectant. It is the mind that clings, that is envious, that holds and destroys. Our life is dominated by the physical centres and by the mind. We do not love and let it alone, but crave to be loved; we give in order to receive, which is the generosity of the mind and not of the heart. The mind is ever seeking certainty, security; and can love be made certain by the mind? Can the mind, whose very essence is of time, catch love, which is its own eternity?
但我们是多么地抗拒这种揭露！抗拒有多种形式： 支配或顺从、恐惧或希望、嫉妒或接受、等等。 困难在于我们不爱； 如果我们爱，我们希望它以特定的方式运转，我们不给它自由。 我们用我们的头脑来爱，而不是用我们的心。 头脑能修改它自己，但爱不能。 头脑能使它自己无懈可击，但爱不能； 头脑总是能退缩、排斥、变得私人化或非私人化。 爱是不能被比较的、不能被围住的。 我们的困难在于我们称之为‘爱’的东西，其实源于头脑。 我们用头脑的东西，填满了我们的心， 使得我们的心，永远处于空虚和期盼之中。 是头脑在依附、嫉妒、掌控和毁灭。 我们的生命被外在的首脑机构和自己的头脑所主宰。 我们缺爱，把它凉在一边，却渴望被爱； 我们给予，是为了获取 —— 这是头脑的慷慨，而与心灵无关。 头脑永远在寻求确定、安全； 而爱能被头脑所确定吗？ 这个头脑，这个由时间锻造的头脑，能够抓住爱，抓住那永恒吗？
But even the love of the heart has its own tricks; for we have so corrupted our heart that it is hesitant and confused. It is this that makes life so painful and wearisome. One moment we think we have love, and the next it is lost. There comes an imponderable strength, not of the mind, whose sources may not be fathomed. This strength is again destroyed by the mind; for in this battle the mind seems invariably to be the victor. This conflict within ourselves is not to be resolved by the cunning mind or by the hesitant heart. There is no means, no way to bring this conflict to an end. The very search for a means is another urge of the mind to be the master, to put away conflict in order to be peaceful, to have love, to become something.
然而，甚至心灵的爱，也有它自己的诡计； 因为我们的心灵已经腐败，以至于它犹豫而困惑。 正是这个原因，使生命如此痛苦和疲惫。 前一刻，我们以为我们有爱，下一刻它就消失了。 有一种不可估量的力量，不是来自于头脑，其来源可能无法探测。 这种力量再次被头脑摧毁； 因为在这场战斗中，头脑似乎总是胜利者。 我们内心的这种冲突， 不能靠狡猾的头脑，也不能靠犹豫的心来解决。 没有手段，没有办法结束这场冲突。 这种对办法的寻找，就是头脑的另一个冲动 —— 做主人，放弃冲突以获得和平，拥有爱，变成某个人物。
Our greatest difficulty is to be widely and deeply aware that there is no means to love as a desirable end of the mind. When we understand this really and profoundly, then there is a possibility of receiving something that is not of this world. Without the touch of that something, do what we will, there can be no lasting happiness in relationship. If you have received that benediction and I have not, naturally you and I will be in conflict. You may not be in conflict, but I will be; and in my pain and sorrow I cut myself off. Sorrow is as exclusive as pleasure, and until there is that love which is not of my making, relationship is pain. If there is the benediction of that love, you cannot but love me whatever I may be, for then you do not shape love according to my behaviour. Whatever tricks the mind may play, you and I are separate; though we may be in touch with each other at some points, integration is not with you, but within myself. This integration is not brought about by the mind at any time; it comes into being only when the mind is utterly silent, having reached the end of its own tether. Only then is there no pain in relationship.
我们最大的困难在于：广泛而深刻地意识到， 没办法将爱作为头脑的最终理想。 当我们真正而深刻地理解这一点时， 就有可能接受一些不属于这个世界的东西。 没有与那个东西接触，就去做我们愿意的事， 那么在关系中，就不会有持久的幸福。 如果你已经收到了祝福，而我没有， 你和我当然会发生冲突。 你可能没有冲没突，但我会有；在我的痛苦和悲伤中，我割断了我自己。 悲伤与快乐一样，都具有排斥性， 除非有那种不是我制造的爱，否则关系就是痛苦。 如果有那种爱的祝福，你就无法不爱我，无论我可能是什么样子， 因为那样，你不会根据我的行为来塑造爱。 无论头脑可能玩什么把戏，你和我始终是分离的； 虽然我们在某些点上，可能会彼此接触， 但融合不是与你，而是与我自身的内在。 在任何时候，这种融合都不是由头脑带来的； 只有当头脑完全安静， 抵达它自身束缚的尽头，才会出现。 只有那样，关系中才没有痛苦。